Gravity Well
by MomsDarkSecret
Summary: Shuichi appeared to survive the vampire's attack, but he can't stop drinking from Yuki. Will Tohma let their relationship continue, or will the story of his hidden past finally drive a wedge between Yuki and Shuichi? COMPLETED.
1. Love Knows No Bounds

Hello everyone! This story is a sequel to The Dark Side of Gravity. It's not necessary to read that story to understand this one, but there will be a few references to events that happened in that story, so I'd recommend reading it first anyway.

**Disclaimer**: This is an original work of fiction, but the characters of Shuichi Shindou, Eiri Yuki, Tohma Seguchi, Hiro Nakano, Suguru Fujisaki, Mika Seguchi, Ayaka Usami, Ryuichi Sakuma, Noriko Ukai, Mr. Sakano and K are borrowed from the Gravitation manga and TV series by the illustrious Maki Murakami. The characters of Miranda Collins and Anderson Keyes were invented by me.

**Warning**: This story contains numerous scenes of graphic yaoi intimacy. If you don't like reading about two guys doing it, don't read this story.

Chapter 1: Love Knows No Bounds

"Yuki! I'm home!"

Eiri looked up from his book just in time to take the full force of Shuichi's leap into his lap. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Eiri's neck, his hands sliding up to tangle in Eiri's unruly blond hair, and kissed Eiri hungrily, his tongue sliding between Eiri's lips. Eiri pulled his glasses off, since they'd been knocked askew anyway, and kissed back. After a moment, Shuichi's lips slid from his and worked their way along his cheek to his jaw, and then to his neck. His tongue stroked Eiri's neck eagerly and Eiri felt the usual surge of arousal, knowing what was coming. Shuichi bit him and began to suck hungrily. Eiri moaned as desire began to take over.

It was like this every night now. Shuichi came home from rehearsal with a raging thirst that he had to satisfy before anything else could happen. His hungry sucking sent ever-increasing waves of desire through Eiri that he found harder and harder to resist. Sometimes, Eiri wondered if his sexual need was the only thing that stopped Shuichi from drinking. Because like always, he finally couldn't stand the aching arousal in his loins anymore and pushed Shuichi off onto the floor. He undid his trousers as he slid off the couch between Shuichi's legs and then yanked Shuichi's pants off, lifting his heels up onto his shoulders. He put himself into Shuichi and then thrust all the way in hard, leaning over him with a groan of pleasure. Shuichi gasped. He reached up to clutch Eiri's shoulders and lifted his mouth for a kiss. Eiri kissed him deeply while he fucked, tasting his own blood in Shuichi's mouth.

Eiri climaxed first, but he didn't stop driving himself into Shuichi until Shuichi came. Then he sat back on his heels, rubbing his hands slowly up and down Shuichi's thighs.

"One of these evenings, it might be nice if you came in like a normal person and asked me what's for dinner," Eiri said dryly.

Shuichi chuckled. "But I always want you for dinner."

Eiri frowned. "You're not eating enough. You've lost a lot of weight lately."

"I just haven't been that hungry." Shuichi pulled his knees up, rolled over and sat up. "I've been so busy with the new album, I never think about it. And anyway, you should talk. You're still skinnier than I am."

Eiri studied him critically. "No, I don't think I am. If you're a gram over 45 kilos, I'd be surprised."

"Don't be silly!" Shuichi grabbed his underwear and pulled them back on. "I've weighed 55 kilos since halfway through high school. But if you're that worried about it, let's have dinner." He bounded to his feet and skipped off to the kitchen singing.

Eiri stood up slowly. He was worried. He remembered that Tohma had actually seemed surprised that Shuichi had survived the death of the vampire Satoshi Seido. He had also been very concerned about the manner in which Eiri had saved Shuichi from death.

"_It might have been better if you'd let him die," _Tohma had said.

But Eiri had not been able to do that. He loved Shuichi. And giving Shuichi what he needed seemed a small price to pay. Eiri still occasionally drank from Shuichi himself, but he didn't need to do it. It was mostly love-play to him. Yet he made sure he ate regularly, especially plenty of protein, so he could sustain Shuichi's habit. But he knew what Tohma would say to that if he knew:

"_You're enabling him."_

That was probably true, but Eiri wasn't sure what to do about it. In the beginning, it had seemed harmless enough. But now, with Shuichi looking more waif-like every day, Eiri worried. He walked to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching Shuichi make dinner. Shuichi sang as he worked, one of his new songs. It had a beautiful, haunting melody and his rich voice gave it an ethereal quality.

"That's pretty."

Shuichi stopped in mid-verse with a broad smile. "Do you think so? Fujisaki is already trying to redo it."

"Don't let him."

"I'll tell him you said so," Shuichi laughed. "Dinner's ready."

He'd made fried rice out of yesterday's leftovers. It disturbed Eiri to see how large a panful the leftovers made. Shuichi used to eat that much as a snack. He resolved to make sure Shuichi ate at least half of what was there.

"This isn't too bad," Eiri noted. "Your cooking doesn't suck quite as much as it did when you first moved in."

"Hey! My cooking never sucked!"

"Or maybe I've just gotten less picky."

"Bastard! You were living on beer and cigarettes before I came along."

"All right. I won't say your cooking sucks if you eat half of the rice."

"I couldn't." Shuichi looked a little green. "I'm already full."

Eiri frowned. Shuichi hadn't eaten more than four mouthfuls. He tried to sound nonchalant.

"And you claim you still weigh 55 kilos eating like that? I've seen supermodels eat more. Trust me, I've dated a few."

"Quit throwing your old girlfriends in my face," Shuichi grumbled irritably. "I don't want any more rice!"

"Fine, don't eat any more." Eiri continued to eat in silence.

Shuichi stared at the table, poking at the remaining rice on his plate with one chopstick. He glanced up at Eiri once or twice, but looked back down without speaking. Finally, he sighed softly.

"Are you mad at me, Yuki?"

"No, but I am worried about you." Eiri reached out and put his left hand on the back of Shuichi's right. "You don't eat, you're losing weight and you're not sleeping very well." Shuichi started in surprise. "Yes, I've noticed. Shu-chan, for my sake, will you please try to eat more?"

Shuichi blinked and looked back down at his plate. Bravely, he picked up his chopsticks and put another mound of rice into his mouth. He choked it down, but it looked like it took all he had to keep it from coming back up again.

"I'm sorry, Yuki," he said plaintively, "that's really all I can stomach. I'll be sick if I have any more."

"That's ok. You tried. That's all I was asking." Eiri smiled encouragingly and patted his hand again, but inside he began to feel sick himself. It wasn't that Shuichi didn't want to eat, he couldn't eat, and that was worse.

- - - - - - - -

Rehearsal was not going well. Fujisaki was determined to make changes to the melody on Shuichi's latest song and Shuichi was adamantly against it. It wasn't just that Yuki had said he liked it; Shuichi truly believed that Fujisaki's changes ruined the balance he was trying for. Hiro was trying to stay out of the argument and that only annoyed Shuichi more. Hiro was his best friend! He should be taking Shuichi's side.

"You may be a marginally decent keyboard player with modest mixing skills," Shuichi snarled angrily, "but you have no grasp of the finer nuances of artistic melody."

Fujisaki flushed at the insult. "You won't even listen to my alternative!" he complained. "How would you know if it's better or not?" He managed to keep his voice level, but Shuichi could hear the strain in his voice as he attempted to hide his fury. Shuichi would have known he was angry anyway. The scent of his fury saturated the air around him.

"I heard enough of it to know it sucks!" he snapped back. "Play it the way I wrote it, god dammit!"

Fujisaki stiffened.

"Please, gentlemen!" Sakano interrupted from the control room. "Let's play it through once more the way it's currently written, and then we can try again with the other version."

Shuichi glared at Fujisaki as he moved to the mic. Fujisaki glared back.

The technician in the control room began to count down. "And… three, two, one, go!"

Shuichi began to sing. Hiro came in on the second bar and Fujisaki on the third.

Fujisaki began to play his alternative melody.

Shuichi whirled around with a scream and threw the mic at him. Fujisaki ducked just in time with a started yelp.

"Play it the way I wrote it, you sniveling little turd!" Shuichi screamed. He leaped across the room and jumped over the keyboard, his hands closing around Fujisaki's throat. Fujisaki flailed at him as Shuichi bore him to the ground. The younger man reeked of fear; the smell of it filled Shuichi's nostrils. It triggered a raging blood lust and Shuichi stopped choking him so he could push Fujisaki's head to one side and expose his throat. He lowered his head, his mouth open to sink his teeth in and put an end to Fujisaki's irritating squeals.

K grabbed him around the waist and dragged him away. Shuichi screamed in frustration.

"Lemme go, you fucking bastard!" He kicked furiously and clawed at K's arm, trying to break free.

"Oh, dear," K said calmly. "This isn't good."

A sharp blow to the back of his head turned Shuichi's vision into an explosion of sparks. He blacked out.

- - - -

What Shuichi thought was the buzzing of bees turned out to be people talking.

"I think you cracked his skull."

"Oh, hardly. Shuichi's head is the hardest thing about him."

Hiro's concerned face swam into Shuichi's vision. "Shuichi, can you hear me? Are you all right?"

Shuichi's head was pounding. The sound of Hiro's voice hurt. "What the hell happened?" he mumbled. He put his hand on the back of his head and felt wetness. He blinked in confusion at the sight of blood on his fingers. "My head's bleeding."

"Still? I thought I'd stopped it." Hiro lifted his head carefully and pressed a damp cloth against the back of his head. "K pistol-whipped you. You kind of lost control there, buddy."

"I did?" Shuichi blinked at Hiro. "I don't remember. Weren't we rehearsing?"

"Yeah. And you attacked Fujisaki for not playing the song the way you wanted."

"I did?" Shuichi repeated, still confused. "I don't… I can't…" he trailed off and his eyes closed. "I think I… I have to rest." Cottony blackness muffled him and he passed out.

Shuichi regained consciousness to the sound of voices.

"There doesn't appear to be a concussion, but we'll know better when he wakes up."

"Thank you, doctor." It was Yuki's voice.

A door closed and Yuki immediately broke into an angry tirade.

"What kind of a manager is that madman?! He could have killed Shuichi, hitting him like that!"

"You didn't see him, Yuki-san," Hiro replied. "He was completely out of control. He nearly choked Fujisaki unconscious. I thought he was going to kill him! And then it looked like he tried to bite him!"

"Bite him?" Yuki exclaimed. "Did he?"

"No, but I really thought he was going to. I've never seen him so angry before."

Shuichi blinked back tears. Had he really done that? He had never tried to bite anyone else before. There were times when people made him hungry, but he had always been able to ignore it. Attack Fujisaki? He didn't even remember it. "I'm sorry!" he whispered.

"Shuichi!" Yuki and Hiro cried in unison. They came to his bedside and Yuki took his hand.

"How do you feel?" Yuki asked. The concern on his face touched Shuichi. He smelled of worry, anger and love.

"Like shit," Shuichi answered faintly. "Did I really attack Fujisaki?"

"Yeah, man, I'm afraid you did," Hiro said. "He's really upset. He said he's quitting the band."

"Oh, god! I truly don't remember any of it!" Shuichi tried to sit up, but Yuki pushed him back down gently. The tears Shuichi was trying to hold in spilled from his eyes. "I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say! I don't know what came over me!"

"Don't think about," Yuki ordered sternly. He looked at Hiro. "I'll stay with him. Why don't you go talk to Fujisaki? Shuichi is ill. Perhaps that will sway him to be more understanding."

Hiro's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with Shuichi?"

"You don't need to know. I'll take care of him."

"But..." Hiro started to protest, but Yuki fixed him with a dark glare.

"I know you are his friend, Nakano-san, but I am his lover. I'll take care of Shuichi. Please go."

Hiro frowned angrily. "Fine! I'll go. But I won't be kept in the dark. Shuichi and I go back a lot farther than the two of you." He stalked angrily from the room. The door boomed shut behind him.

Shuichi lifted large, frightened eyes to Yuki. "Yuki, what am I going to do? This has never happened before. Why can't I remember it?"

Yuki gently stroked the hair back from his face. "You don't remember because that idiot K nearly bashed your brains out. But Hiro said you were angry when you attacked Fujisaki. Furious, even."

"But why would that make me try to…" Shuichi stopped. He didn't want to say the words. He'd never liked saying the words, even though he had now been drinking Yuki's blood for months.

"I don't know. But I think you need to give serious consideration to giving up the habit. I'm afraid of what it's doing to you. You should be, too." Yuki leaned over and kissed him gently. "I'll stay with you tonight. The doctor wants you to stay overnight for observation." He began tucking in Shuichi's blankets.

Shuichi watched him, feeling guilty. Give up the habit? Right now, all he could think about was how much he wanted to drink from Yuki. His scent filled Shuichi with hunger. Resisting the urge was making his head throb again.

"Does your head hurt?"

Shuichi almost smiled. Yuki always knew what he was feeling, it seemed.

"Yes."

"I'll ask them to bring you something. I'll be right back."

Yuki went out and Shuichi stared up at the ceiling. It really couldn't be that bad. He was being careful with Yuki, so as long as he didn't lose his temper again, it shouldn't be a problem with anyone else. Yes, he just had to be more careful and watch himself, that was all. There was no reason to stop.


	2. In Denial

Thank you everyone, for being excited about the new story! I apologize; this chappie is a little short, but I'm working up to the next one. I promise! Very soon you will get to learn why Tohma knows so damn much about vampires.

Chapter 2: In Denial

It was way too early to be awake. It was not even starting to turn gray outside yet. It was just plain dark. Eiri stared up at the ceiling and listened to Shuichi tiptoe around the bedroom. He was trying to be quiet, with his usual complete lack of success. Normally, the noise would not have bothered Eiri at all. He would have slept right through it. But lately, it seemed like Shuichi's insomnia was starting to affect him, too. He sat up on one elbow.

"Where the hell are you going at this godforsaken hour of the morning?" Eiri demanded. "If it's even morning yet," he added irritably.

Shuichi turned to look at him. His large luminous eyes appeared to glow in the darkness. "I'm sorry, Yuki. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Well, you did." Eiri flopped back down. "Now come back to bed. It's too early to be up."

Shuichi hesitated for a moment before crawling back under the blankets. He snuggled up against Eiri's side and put his head on Eiri's shoulder. "I wish I didn't keep waking up. I don't know why I do."

"It's because you don't eat enough," Eiri replied without thinking. He felt Shuichi stiffen. "Well, that might cause it," he amended quickly. He turned on his side and faced Shuichi. "You are losing weight, don't deny it."

"I know I am," Shuichi said quietly. "I've been trying to eat more."

Eiri cupped Shuichi's cheek in his hand. "I don't want to lose you, Shuichi. When you almost died before…" he paused. Just remembering that moment sent a wave of heartache through him. "I need you, Shu-chan." He kissed Shuichi on the lips and felt them trembling. "Let's not talk about it right now." He pulled Shuichi close and kissed him again, more deeply.

Shuichi responded with urgent passion. His tongue quested into Eiri's mouth, stroking eagerly against Eiri's tongue and coaxing it back into his own mouth. Eiri rolled onto his back and pulled Shuichi on top of him, kissing hungrily. Shuichi straddled him, rubbing his hardening erection against Eiri's hip. Eiri slid his hands down to caress Shuichi's buttocks, cradling them in his hands. Shuichi's skin was surprisingly soft and smooth. It always felt good beneath Eiri's fingers. He stroked the fingertips of one hand up Shuichi's spine and into his hair, holding Shuichi's mouth against his. Shuichi reached down between his legs and grasped Eiri's penis, rubbing it in a tight grip. Eiri moaned. Then Shuichi sat up enough to guide Eiri into himself and settled onto him with an excited gasp. He leaned forward and planted his hands on either side of Eiri's face. Eiri grasped him by the hips, dug his heels in, and began thrusting up into Shuichi urgently.

Shuichi's eyes were closed. "Ah! Ah! AH! AHH!" he groaned with each thrust as Eiri took him. He came, his ejaculation spraying across Eiri's chest.

Eiri kept fucking until his own release flooded him with orgasm. "Ohh!" he cried. Then he pulled Shuichi down to him and kissed him gently. "I love you, Shu-chan."

"I love you, too, Yuki." Shuichi put his head on Eiri's shoulder, but to Eiri's complete surprise, he didn't take a drink.

Eiri embraced him. "It's going to be all right, Shuichi. We'll work this out."

Shuichi didn't answer.

- - - - - - - -

Shuichi entered the studio quietly. He was desperately tired, more from lack of sleep then the early morning tryst with Yuki. _I should have taken a drink,_ Shuichi thought. _I really need it._ The studio was empty, except for the technician in the control room.

"Hey, Shuichi! How are you feeling?" the technician, Akira, asked through the intercom. He sounded friendly, but there was a trace of uncertainty in his voice as well.

_As well there should be_, Shuichi thought. "I'm better, thanks!" he replied with forced cheerfulness. "I know I'm early, but I wanted to practice my vocals before the others arrive."

"Sure thing. Do you want me to record it?"

"Not yet. I need to warm up first."

Akira nodded and went back to whatever he had been doing, and Shuichi stepped up to the mic. He sang scales first, just to limber up, and then began practicing his new song. The song was beautiful sung _a capella_. It didn't really need supporting music, which was why it bothered him so much that Fujisaki kept trying to change the mix. The song's delicacy would be over-powered by overzealous mixing. It made him question whether Fujisaki, or any of them, really understood what he was trying to do.

"You sound like Ryuichi."

Shuichi stopped in mid-note and turned to Hiro. "Really? For a change, I wasn't trying to." He managed a small smile.

"How's your head? Did Yuki take good care of you?" Hiro sounded faintly annoyed.

"Yes, he did. I'm much better." Shuichi bit his lip. "Were you able to talk Fujisaki into coming back?"

"No, but I think Mr. Seguchi did. He said he'd be here."

"Tohma did?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Hiro patted his shoulder. "Keep practicing. It sounded good."

Shuichi nodded and turned back to the mic. He started over at the beginning and sang the song all the way through to the end without interruption or accompaniment.

"I can see why you were so adamant about the arrangement," Tohma spoke from the doorway. "Perhaps Fujisaki was in the wrong this time."

"But I still shouldn't have attacked him," Shuichi responded apologetically. "I'm really sorry." He bowed quickly.

"I'm not the one to whom you owe the apology." Tohma strolled into the room with his hands tucked into the pockets of his long coat. "However, I'm glad to hear you say it." He crossed the room to Shuichi and put one gloved hand over the mic, leaning close to whisper into Shuichi's ear. "I can forgive you for attacking my cousin, but I will not forgive you if something happens to Eiri. Don't forget: I know how to deal with your kind." He favored Shuichi with a long cold look before turning to stroll casually from the room.

Cold fear shivered down Shuichi's spine.

Hiro frowned. "What did he say?"

"Nothing important," Shuichi lied. "He just warned me not to let it happen again."

"And you won't, right?"

"Yes." Shuichi faced him. "I promise to be on my best behavior from now on."

"Good. I want to practice my part. Sing it again."

They rehearsed for about ten minutes more before Fujisaki arrived. He marched into the studio with an angry frown and went straight to his keyboards. Shuichi felt horribly guilty. The purple bruises just starting to fade to a mottled green on his throat looked like fingers. Shuichi stepped in front of him and bowed deeply.

"Please forgive me, Fujisaki-kun! My assault on you was unwarranted! I make no excuses! I sincerely, humbly apologize for my behavior." He remained bent over, waiting for Fujisaki to respond.

"Seguchi-san told me I must come back, so I'm here," he replied angrily. "But even he won't persuade me next time! You aren't the only one in this band who matters."

"Yes, Fujisaki-kun!" Shuichi straightened up. "And it won't happen again, I promise. I'll behave like a professional from now on."

Fujisaki just sniffed. "Why don't we resume?"

To Shuichi's astonishment, Fujisaki played the arrangement the way Shuichi wanted it, with only a few embellishments.

After four hours of rehearsal, Shuichi was so exhausted he could barely carry a tune. He collapsed onto his knees with relief when Mr. Sakano said they could stop for the day.

Hiro squatted down beside him. "Why don't you come have lunch with me? You look like you could use a good meal."

Shuichi shook his head tiredly. "Thanks, Hiro, but I think I'd like to just go home and sleep. Maybe tomorrow?"

Hiro stood up. "That's what you always say, lately. I wonder if you even eat anymore?"

Shuichi froze as Hiro left. He didn't think anyone else had noticed. But it was foolish to think that Hiro wouldn't have. They'd known each other too long. Shuichi climbed to his feet and headed for the door.

"Shindou-kun?"

Shuichi froze again. "Yes, Fujisaki-kun?"

"Tomorrow, I would like you to listen to one change I'd like to make in the arrangement."

"Of course." Shuichi hurried out. He needed to get home. He needed Yuki.

- - - - - - - -

Eiri was deep into his novel, typing steadily when the door opened. Shuichi stopped in the doorway, looking like an animated corpse. Eiri stared at him with a sinking heart.

"Shu-chan, what's the matter?"

"I'm so hungry!" he whispered. He leaned against the door frame and held his hand out to Eiri. "Please?!"

Eiri saved his file and stood up. Stepping away from the desk, he folded his arms and regarded Shuichi with concern. "It's not good for you. You need to stop."

"I will! I promise! But I'm so hungry right now, I can't think!" He held both hands out beseechingly. "Oh please, Yuki! Just a little!"

Eiri sighed. His sense of smell wasn't as strong as it had been, but he could smell Shuichi's hunger. He was ravenous. Eiri opened his arms. "All right."

Shuichi flew into his embrace, his mouth pressing hungrily against Eiri's throat. But, as hungry as he was, his bite was as careful as always. He sucked with big, deep gulps, drawing the blood desperately from Eiri's neck. Growing arousal slowly hardened Eiri as Shuichi drank, and he had to fight the urge to throw Shuichi onto the floor and fuck him.

"Shuichi," he said finally, "you should stop."

Shuichi stopped immediately. "Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly.

"No, but unless you want to get fucked right where you're standing, you need to stop."

Shuichi grinned. "Who says I don't want to get fucked right where I'm standing?"

The change in him was like night and day. His eyes were bright, his skin glowed. He no longer looked like he was one step away from death.

Eiri cupped Shuichi's face in his hand. "I do. I need to eat now." He kissed Shuichi on the nose. "And I want you to eat, too. Something other than me."

Shuichi trailed after him to the kitchen. "There're other parts of you I could eat, you know," he said with a chuckle.

"Fag." Eiri replied absently from inside the fridge. "You can't live on that either. Dammit! There's nothing in here but beer." He shut the door with a thump. "We need to go shopping."

"Let's go out to dinner."

"I'm not buying you any food unless you eat it."

"I'll eat! I'll eat! I promise." Shuichi grabbed his arm. "Let's go to the noodle shop on the corner. I love their broth."

"Ok."

Shuichi did eat his noodles, much to Eiri's relief and surprise. He also seemed more like his usual hyper, talkative self. On the way back, he talked Eiri into renting a movie, but they never saw the end of it. As soon as the movie started playing, Shuichi crawled into his lap and began making out with him. They ended up naked on the floor, fucking urgently.

Afterward, Shuichi let out a long, happy sigh. "I love living with you, Yuki. It's so nice to be able to make love with you whenever I want."

Eiri snorted. "Yeah, my editor's going to want to talk to you about that. My book's about a month overdue."

"I just get so turned on whenever I look at you." Shuichi kissed his shoulder. "It's your own fault, anyway. Need I remind you who deflowered whom?"

"You needn't." Eiri glanced at the TV. "Movie's done. It must be bed time." He got up and turned off the TV and the DVD player.

Shuichi sat up. "Yuki, do you ever regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Making love to me that first time."

"No." Eiri glanced at him. "Why? Do you?"

Shuichi shook his head. "I just wonder sometimes how different it would be."

Eiri grabbed Shuichi's hand and pulled him to his feet. "For one thing, my book would probably be done."

Shuichi made a face and punched his arm. "That's all you can think of?"

"Well…" Eiri rubbed his arm. "I'd probably be calling a cab for some hot babe right now instead of preparing to spend the night with a squirming little twerp who snores."

"I don't snore!" Eiri caught his hand before Shuichi could punch him again and Shuichi stuck out his tongue. "And I don't squirm, either."

Eiri put his arm around Shuichi's waist and pinched his butt. Shuichi yelped.

"Why are you asking me this, Shu-chan? Feeling insecure?"

"No, I just…" he paused. "I just sometimes wonder if you'd be better off without me," he finished in a small voice.

Eiri turned Shuichi to face him and gripped his shoulders with both hands. "I am happy with the way things are, Shuichi. I admit we have a few problems to work through, but I'd rather have you with me than not, ok?" When Shuichi didn't answer right away, Eiri shook him gently. "Ok?"

"Ok." Shuichi looked up at him with enormous eyes. "I love you more than everything, Yuki."

"I know. I love you, too."


	3. Tohma's Story

**Ryua Malfoy**: Welcome! I agree we grown-up fangirls have to stick together. There's safety in numbers!

**Everyone**: As you may guess from the chapter title, we are about to take a detour into the dark world of Tohma Seguchi. I confess up front it's going to be a long detour, but don't despair. I promise it's an interesting road and it leads right back to Yuki and Shuichi.

Chapter 3: Tohma's Story

The next morning, Shuichi was happy. He trotted around the bedroom humming to himself as he got ready for work. Eiri lay in the bed and watched him, still too tired to get up. When he was dressed, Shuichi leaped onto the bed and kissed him.

"Aren't you getting up, sleepyhead? You said your book is overdue."

"All thanks to you."

Shuichi just laughed and ruffled his hair.

Eiri didn't want to upset him, but this was getting to be too much. "I let you drink too much last night," he said. "I just don't have any energy."

Shuichi's smile faded. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't take so much, but I was so hungry yesterday." He leaned over Eiri. "You should drink some, it will make you feel better."

Eiri shook his head. "We both have to stop, Shuichi. You know that."

"You hardly drink at all anymore, Yuki. Just this once won't make that much difference." He stretched out, touching his neck to Eiri's lips. "Besides, I love the way it feels."

Eiri wanted to resist the urge, but he couldn't do it. He was exhausted and he knew it would make him feel better. And he needed to work. If he didn't finish the book soon, his editor was going to camp out by his computer just to make sure he was writing. He opened his mouth and licked. The taste of Shuichi's skin was deliciously familiar. He could feel the pulse beating against his lips. Shuichi's scent radiated his excitement. Eiri gave in and bit down. The warm, salty taste filled his mouth and he closed his eyes with pleasure. Shuichi sighed softly.

Eiri didn't drink long. The pleasure of drinking, more than the blood itself, restored him. He stopped after a few minutes and just held Shuichi against him.

"I love you, Yuki."

"I know." He stroked his fingers through Shuichi's hair. "You're going to be late for work."

"I'll run." Shuichi continued to cuddle against him for a few more minutes, and then he sat up with a sigh. "But you're right. I will be late." He kissed Eiri one more time and slid off the bed. Then he grinned. "You'd better get to work, too. I don't want your editor coming after me!" He bounded out of the room. "Bye!"

- - - - - - - -

Tohma waited outside the house until he saw Shuichi leave. The young man had clearly lost a lot of weight. Tohma sighed. It was getting worse. He was going to have to be very frank with Eiri, and possibly tell him everything. Tohma didn't like admitting to weakness, but he wasn't sure how else to convince Eiri how serious the situation was becoming. He tapped the driver's intercom button.

"I'm going now. I'll call when I need to be picked up."

"Yes, sir."

Tohma stepped out of the limo and watched it drive away. Then he walked up to the house and rang the bell. Eiri did not seem surprised to see him.

"Were you waiting outside for Shuichi to leave?" he remarked dryly.

"As a matter of fact, I was," Tohma answered honestly. "We need to talk, Eiri."

Eiri stepped back and held the door open. Tohma walked through into the living room and took a seat on the couch, crossing his legs and folding his gloved hands neatly on his knee. Eiri slumped down at the far end of the couch with his legs stuck out.

"So, what do you want?" he said.

"I want to talk to you about Mr. Shindou."

"Tohma…" Eiri began, but Tohma held up a restraining hand.

"Please, Eiri, hear me out. I am not here to speak against your relationship. But I am very concerned. How often does Mr. Shindou drink from you?"

Eiri flushed. "I'm not sure that's any of your business."

"But it most certainly is. You are my friend. He is my employee. I have a vested interest in what happens to both of you. So please, answer my question."

"Every day." Eiri looked away as he answered.

"I thought so." Tohma sighed. "Is he eating?"

"Not as much as he should."

"I was afraid of that."

Eiri frowned at him. "What are you getting at, Tohma?"

Tohma sighed again. "I am afraid Mr. Shindou is turning, Eiri." At Eiri's startled look, Tohma nodded. "It is inevitable if he continues as he is. He will eat less and less, and drink more and more, until he is subsisting on blood alone. And when that happens, he will turn. It will happen sooner, almost immediately, if he drinks from anyone other than you." Tohma returned Eiri's frightened stare with a stern look of his own. "It will happen to you, too, if you fall into the same habits."

Eiri put a hand over his mouth and Tohma wondered if he had drunk from Shuichi that morning.

"How do you know this?" Eiri whispered.

Tohma looked away. He had really not wanted to tell this story, but Eiri needed to understand how important this was, how much danger he was in. "About six years ago, not long after you returned to Japan, while Nittle Grasper was on tour in the United States, I was attacked by a vampire."

"What?!"

"Yes. And if not for the help of one very caring person, neither I nor Ryuichi Sakuma would be alive today."

Eiri stared in open-mouthed silence.

"Let me tell you a story," Tohma began.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Where do you think you're going?" K demanded. "This rehearsal isn't close to over."

Tohma smiled sweetly. "I am very sorry, K, but I have a business commitment I need to keep."

"This is ridiculous, Tohma!" K complained. "You can't be a high-powered executive and a member of this band at the same time!"

"Nonsense, I've been doing it for years, now. Anyway, Nori and Ryu can continue without me."

"Tohma's leaving?" Ryuichi said from where he was sitting on the floor diligently coloring a picture of Mr. Bear, although his color choices were nothing even the bright pink Mr. Bear might consider natural.

"Yes," Tohma said with an affectionate smile. "I have to go to the office and meet with my New York staff. Since we will be playing a tour in the United States, I thought it would be a good idea to spend some time with them."

"That's too bad," Ryuichi said seriously, "they always make you too tired to play." He grinned up at Tohma. "You're happier when you're playing."

"That's true. I'll try not to let them make me too tired."

K frowned. "This is no way to run a rock band, Tohma."

"Don't fret, K. I only have a few meetings this week, and none the day before the first concert."

"Oh, well that's something, anyway." K's voice dripped sarcasm. He pulled his pistol out of his holster and cocked it. "Maybe if I got rid of a few of them, you could skip a couple meetings."

Tohma frowned at him. "I will not be happy if I have to train new staff, K."

K stuffed the gun away, looking disappointed. "Oh fine! Be that way." He crossed his arms and glared at nothing in particular.

Ryuichi stood up and pointed at Nori. "She's eating again."

K and Tohma turned to look at her. Noriko hastily stuffed the last of a cookie into her mouth and grinned at them guiltily.

"Does your husband know you're eating that?"

"It's just a cookie!"

"And how many does that make today?"

"She ate the whole bag!" Ryuichi wailed. He held the empty bad upside down and shook it. His lower lip quivered. "She didn't save me ANY!"

Noriko spread her hands innocently. "I'm eating for two?" she ventured.

"More like three," Tohma replied, nodding at the wailing Ryuichi.

"Great!" muttered K. "Now nobody's rehearsing."

Tohma patted Ryuichi on the shoulder. "I'll get more cookies on my way back from the office," he said. "I'll get two bags."

Ryuichi brightened immediately. "Peanut butter cookies?"

"Of course."

Ryuichi clapped his hands. "Ok! Let's sing!" He lifted his head and began to sing, his incredible voice spilling the rich notes into the room like golden pools of sunshine.

Tohma lowered his voice and spoke to K. "Make sure to keep the reporters away from him. I'll meet you back at my apartment later."

"Yes, sir."

Tohma went to the New York office of N-G Productions. The offices were on three floors of a Manhattan high-rise, far enough up to be properly impressive without being insanely expensive. The American staff greeted his arrival in their usual too-familiar way. The receptionist was the only one who seemed to understand the right way to behave toward him. But then, it was her job to greet people with the correct degree of deference, so it did not really surprise him.

"Good morning, Mr. Seguchi," she said when he entered through the heavy glass doors.

"Good morning, Miss Weinstock."

"Mr. Wolfe and the others are waiting for you in the executive conference room, sir."

"Thank you. Please tell them I'll join them in a moment."

"Yes sir." She held out a handful of notes. "Here are your messages."

"Thank you, Miss Weinstock."

"You're welcome, sir."

Tohma read the messages as he walked to his office, so he wouldn't have to make an effort at greeting the functionaries he passed along the way. People always tried to engage him in conversation, instead of deferring to his superior position and going about their business. It was such a uniquely American behavior. A result, no doubt, of their almost aggressive insistence that everyone be treated as equals, even when they obviously weren't. The messages were the usual collection of reports from his Tokyo office, except for one. One made no sense at all. When he reached his office, he found the young man who acted as his assistant when he was in New York, an efficient young black man with a bald head, waiting outside. Tohma handed him the note.

"Thomas, will you please find out what this is about?"

Thomas took the note without looking at it. "Of course, sir." He handed Tohma a sheaf of papers in return. "Here are the reports on the US debuts of the new recordings."

"Very good. I want to make a few phone calls before the meeting. Please go ahead to the conference room."

"Yes sir." Thomas left and Tohma went into his office.

Of course, at this hour, no one in Japan was awake, but Tohma called anyway and left messages. Then he headed for the conference room for what promised to be a long, dull meeting.

Hours later, Tohma had to confess that Ryuichi was right. Business meetings always left him too tired to play. _I'm getting old,_ he thought. _Playing used to wake me back up_.

As he stepped into the elevator, Thomas rushed to catch him. "Mr. Seguchi!" he called. Tohma hit the door open button and Thomas slipped in beside him. "I got some information on that message you asked about." Thomas handed him a folded sheet of paper.

"Is it a new band?"

"No. I think it has something to do with the band opening for you on your concert tour."

"Really?" Tohma unfolded the sheet of paper. A woman's name, Miranda Collins, was written on it, along with the words: new recording contract. "Why didn't she just call K, or the band's producer?"

"I don't know. Her secretary said she needed to meet with you. I can try to find out more, if you want."

"No, that's all right. If it has to do with the tour, K can handle it. Thank you."

The elevator reached the bottom and he stepped out. Thomas stayed in the elevator. "Good night, Mr. Seguchi," he said. He pressed a button to ride back up.

"Good night, Thomas."

Tohma's limousine was waiting outside the front door and he smiled. Thomas was very efficient. Tohma climbed in and the car pulled out into traffic.

Back at his apartment, Noriko and Ryuichi were playing a wild game of checkers. Ryuichi was rolling on the floor begging Noriko not to jump his checkers. She promptly did so and Ryuichi howled in anguish.

"She's not playing fair," he told Tohma with a quivering lip. "I want to play you! You don't take all my checkers."

Tohma patted him on the head. "After dinner. Nori, shouldn't you be going to the hotel? Tetsuya-san must be wondering where you are."

"I called him already. I said I'd meet him for dinner after you got back." She wrinkled her nose at Ryuichi. "Someone has to keep an eye on this chimp."

"Where's K-san?"

"Scoping out our next venue." She climbed to her feet. "But, you're right, it's time for me to get going." She patted her belly. "This one's ready for dinner."

"See you tomorrow."

Noriko left and Tohma sat down on the floor next to Ryuichi. "What do you want for dinner, Ryu-chan?"

Ryuichi stared up at the ceiling, his brow wrinkled in concentration. "Umm… dinner… let's see… American food?" He beamed at Tohma.

Tohma smiled back. "Ok, American food it is."

- - - - - - - -

Tohma was not happy. One of their best up and coming American bands had been poached by another label. Tohma had hoped to promote the band by having them open for Nittle Grasper at their East Coast venues. The producer who'd lost the band sat on the other side of Tohma's desk, doing his best to place the blame everywhere but on himself. Tohma debated whether or not he could get away with firing the idiot on the spot. He finally held up his hand.

"Stop, Mr. Johnson. This is pointless. Come back when you can report something positive."

"But, Mr. Seguchi…"

"No! That's enough. I have other matters to attend to."

"Of course, sir. I'll get back to you as soon as possible." Johnson hurried out and Tohma sighed as the door closed behind him. This day was going to hell in fine fashion.

There was a knock at the door and Thomas stuck his head in. "Mr. Seguchi, Miranda Collins is here to see you."

"Did she have an appointment?"

"No." Thomas looked a little guilty. "She asked if you were in the office today and insisted on coming over when I said you were. I can ask her to come back."

"No, that's all right. I'll see her. The day is already shot."

Thomas closed the door, but a moment later, he knocked again and immediately opened it. "Miss Collins, sir."

Miranda Collins was quite striking. She was taller than Tohma by a few inches, but very slender. Her hair was light brown, very straight and extremely long. Her eyes were green. Tohma could not decide if her features were more European or American. But what struck him the most was the way she moved. She flowed rather than walked.

"Please sit down, Ms. Collins."

"Thank you, Mr. Seguchi, and please forgive me for coming without an appointment. I really wanted to see you. I've been a fan of yours for years."

"You follow Nittle Grasper?"

She smiled enigmatically. "Not really. I mostly have been following your career. You're a fascinating man." She leaned forward and fixed him with a seductive gaze. "I would love to spend some time with you."

Tohma sat back. It was hardly the first time he'd been propositioned, although it had never before happened in his office. "Ms. Collins, I thought you came to see me on business."

"We can talk business, if you like," she said. She sat back. "Would you like to get your band, Moonlight Garden, back?"

"How did you know about that?"

"I arranged it." She smiled again. "I needed a reason to see you, didn't I? But I can un-arrange it."

"I don't respond to blackmail, Ms. Collins."

"This isn't blackmail, Mr. Seguchi. It's an offer." She stood up and flowed around the desk. Tohma turned in his chair to face her. She walked right up to him and leaned over, placing her hands on his shoulders and pushing him firmly against the seat back. "If you don't like it, I'll see that you get your band back anyway." She brought her lips to his and kissed him lightly. Then she leaned to the side and flicked her tongue across his neck. "I love beautiful, androgynous men like you," she whispered. She kissed him on the neck. And then she bit him.

Tohma gasped. He could feel her lips sucking against his skin. The slight twinge of discomfort her bite caused was lost beneath a surge of erotic pleasure that hardened him. He did not often react this way to a woman's touch and the surprise kept him from pushing her away. And then the pleasurable sucking sensation of her mouth stopped him. His mouth fell open and a long, soft sigh escaped him.

He did not know how long he sat there, letting her suck the blood from his throat, but when she finally moved away, dabbing at her lips with a tissue, he felt lightheaded.

"I knew it would be a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Seguchi," she said. "I hope we will have many more opportunities to get together." She smiled at him and there was still hunger in her eyes. "Good afternoon."

Tohma just stared at the closed door after she left. A vampire! He had never really believed in them before. He put a hand to his throat. He should tell someone. He should tell K. Then he looked at the small smear of blood on his fingertips. He was not going to tell anyone. He was Tohma Seguchi and no one took advantage of him. Not even a damn vampire.


	4. Miranda Collins

**KawaiiYasha**: Thank you for the compliment about my writing! smiles

**Guren**: The other story was posted for me by someone else, before I signed up at fanfiction. You can find it at: fanfiction .net/ s/ 2136887/ 1/. (Take out all the spaces and drop it in the browser.) Or search by the author: Amethyst Wolf Dragon. The story is called The Dark Side of Gravity.

**Profiterole**: I have to confess I harbor a secret (ok, maybe not so secret) fascination for Tohma. He had an important role in the last story and I wanted to expand on it for this one. And grown-ups come in all ages, just like children!

Chapter 4: Miranda Collins

Thomas knocked on Tohma's door and stuck his head in. "Miranda Collins' secretary just called. She says Ms. Collins can discuss Moonlight Garden's contract over dinner tonight if you're free."

"Did she say where?" Tohma tried not to sound as tired as he felt. These meetins with Miranda were exhausting him. They had already met three times in the last five days to negotiate the return of his pilfered band, and each time, she had taken the opportunity to drink from him. After the first time, he had not intended to let it happen again, but somehow she always managed it. He should probably just give up and find another band to open for them, but he really didn't want to. Moonlight Garden's music complimented Nittle Grasper's and the group was dedicated and easy to work with. Besides, there was the principle of it. Tohma himself had discovered this band.

"Ritz Carlton. She has a hospitality suite."

"Fine. Call back and say I'll be there at eight."

Tohma sat back and rubbed his eyes. He needed to resolve this. Their first concert was in three days, and then they would be performing two or three concerts in a row every four or five days for the next three months. The uncertainty was very unsettling, especially for K, who was not taking it well at all, particularly since Tohma would not let him participate in the discussions. But Tohma needed K to stay focused on looking after Ryuichi, especially with someone like Miranda around.

But tonight had to be the last time. He would get Moonlight Garden back and then never see Miranda again.

Her suite at the Ritz Carlton was lavish. Even Tohma, who was accustomed to this kind of luxury, was a little stunned. Miranda answered the door in a satin dressing gown that clung to her as she moved, revealing the slender grace of her figure.

"I'm so glad you could come, Tohma." She favored him with he usual intimate smile. "May I take your coat? I've taken the liberty of ordering for you," she said as she hung his coat in the closet. "I hope you like French cuisine. I still enjoy the way it smells." She chuckled at her little joke.

"French cuisine is fine, Miss Collins, but I would like to conclude our business arrangements first." He took a seat on the couch and crossed one leg neatly over the other.

"Of course." She glided over and sat next to him. "But please call me Miranda." She put her hand on his knee. "I feel we know each other intimately enough for given names, don't you?"

"An intimate relationship doesn't necessarily make us friends, Miss Collins."

"True, but I hope very much to become very good friends with you." Her voice became husky as she spoke and her eyes glowed with hunger.

Her intent gaze unnerved Tohma, because it excited him and held him in place. He felt his loins stirring as she leaned close and licked his ear.

"I love the way you taste," she whispered. "Japanese men have such a refined flavor. It must be your diet."

Tohma drew in a ragged breath. "Business first, Miss Collins."

"You're so strict," she murmured, her lips brushing his ear. "The contract is on the table. Offer them five percent more and they'll take it. The band is yours. Again." She licked his neck just below his ear, then his chin, and then his lips. She kissed him, slowly working her tongue between his lips.

Tohma kissed back, feeling helpless. Her kiss was warm and seductive. Then she kissed her way slowly and wetly along his jaw and down his neck. She nibbled him gently for a moment and then bit down, drawing blood. He gasped softly. She sucked slowly and deeply, using her lips and tongue together. The sensation was so wildly erotic that Tohma became completely erect. His eyes closed and he slumped against the back of the couch, completely at her mercy.

She drank him for a long time and Tohma was dizzy and lightheaded when she stopped. Her face was flushed and content when she looked into his eyes. She cupped his cheek in her hand. "You are the most delicious man," she purred. "But now you must eat."

She helped him to his feet and looped her arm through his to guide him to the table. Tohma was famished. He ate everything on the table and drank most of a bottle of wine. Miranda chattered at him as he ate, but he paid no attention to her. Getting the food into his stomach was all he cared about.

And then he simply passed out.

- - - - - - - -

"Tohma didn't come home last night!" Ryuichi accused, sounding hurt and confused.

"Must have been a good party," K said to Ryuichi. "He looks hungover."

Ryuichi nodded. "And tired."

Tohma scrubbed a hand over his face. "Yes on both counts, but it wasn't a party. It was a business meeting." He pulled the contract out of his inside coat pocket and tossed it to K. "Go see them. Offer them five percent more and then get their butts into rehearsal. I'm going to take a shower. Ryu and I will meet you at the studio later."

K glanced at the contract and nodded. Then he frowned at Tohma. "Don't be late!"

"I won't be. I'm tired of being Mr. Executive. It's time to concentrate on being a keyboard player."

"About time." K stuffed the contract into a pocket and left.

Tohma put his arm around Ryuichi's shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't call. I hadn't planned on being out all night."

"I was worried!"

"I know. I won't let it happen again."

Their tour was scheduled to travel through several cities in the eastern United States and then up into eastern Canada, before traveling to the west coast. Once they got started, Tohma let himself forget about Miranda Collins. He was simply too busy to worry about her. The concerts were intermixed with radio and TV interviews, so it seemed like they had some place to be every day. Also, all of their concerts were sold out and fans waited outside after every concert for a chance at autographs, so it was always extremely late by the time they got back to their hotel. And of course, K was always there. Tohma felt safe as long as K was around.

In Boston, they had one of their largest crowds. They played to a standing-room-only house, and dozens of people were waiting outside when they tried to leave afterward, so they stayed to sign autographs. A number of people had the latest Nittle Grasper CD and wanted to get the band's autographs on the CD cover. Ryuichi joked with the fans as he signed. He was always good with fans. Tohma never said much, but he was always polite. Noriko was fielding quite a few questions about her obviously expectant condition.

"Is your husband traveling with you, Miss Nori?" one young woman asked.

"Yes," Noriko said. "He's afraid I'll have the baby without him!"

"It must be hard doing a concert tour. Don't you get tired?"

"Oh no! Performing is such a rush, I feel great!"

Tohma listened to Noriko and Ryuichi chatting with the fans. He had never had the same easy rapport. The fans asking for his autograph were polite but they didn't ask him personal questions, which left him free to listen to all the chatter going on among the fans while they waited their turns.

"What do you think of Ryuichi?" It was a young woman's voice.

"Oh, he's cute, but Tohma is absolutely gorgeous. He smells wonderful. I bet he tastes fantastic." The young man sounded excited.

"You can dream, but I heard Miranda has claimed him already."

"Really? That's so unfair! She's always takes the best ones for herself and never gives anyone else a chance."

"Well, you can risk it if you want, but I think she's in Boston tonight."

"Damn!"

Tohma looked up as the man and woman fell silent. A shudder of fear ran through him. How did these people know? But as he looked at them, he saw the same hungry glow in their eyes that he'd come to recognize in Miranda's. They were vampires. When it was their turn, he had to fight the urge to back away from them. He managed a faint smile as he signed their CD covers. Then they moved on to get signatures from Ryuichi and Noriko and Tohma watched them out of the corner of his eye, ready to call on K for protection, until they walked away. He was greatly relieved when the last of the fans had been dealt with and K hustled them to the waiting minivan for the trip back to the hotel.

When he entered his room, Tohma found a bouquet of flowers waiting. It had a card in one of those plastic holders stuck into it. He opened the little envelope with a sense of dread.

_My dearest Tohma, I loved your concert tonight. I would like to offer you my personal congratulations. Please meet me in the bar downstairs when you return. Don't disappoint me! Yours truly, Miranda._

Tohma thought about ignoring her, but then decided the best thing to do was go down and tell her not to try to see him again. He had to put an end to this relationship. All the way down in the elevator, he rehearsed what he would say to her, but when he walked into the bar and saw her, the words flew from his head. Desire surged through him. He wanted her to take him and the realization terrified him. He sank down next to her where she sat at a corner table in the empty bar in silence.

"You stayed late with your fans," she said with a faint smile.

Tohma wondered if she had been watching him. "Fans are important. It's not right to ignore them."

"Of course." She gazed at him hungrily. "It's been too long since I saw you last. We must get together more often."

"I don't think that would be a good idea for me, Miss Collins."

"I promise to be more restrained, Tohma." She kissed him lightly on the mouth. "I want our relationship to last a long time." She looked into his eyes and kissed him again. Then she bit him on the neck and began to drink. She did not drink long. "I will look for you every few days," she said when she finished. "Make time for me." She held his gaze until he nodded. She patted his cheek. "Good boy."

Tohma watched her leave with a sinking heart. Only a few times in his life had he felt like he was in over his head. Right now, he felt like he was drowning.

- - - - - - - -

It was like having an affair. Tohma was sneaking around behind K and Ryuichi and Noriko's backs to have his little trysts with Miranda without their knowledge. He felt like he was doing something obscene and the longer it went on, the worse it felt. Miranda was true to her word and did not take much from him at any one time, but the net effect was starting to take a toll on him. He couldn't keep pace with her appetite. He was losing weight, and even his normally fair complexion was starting to look pale. It was inevitable that someone would notice, and Tohma was not in the least surprised that it was Ryuichi.

"Tohma looks sick," Ryuichi stated flatly at breakfast one morning. They had ordered room service in Tohma's room.

"What?" said K. He peered at Tohma inquisitively. "You do look a little pale and peaked there, pal. What's up?"

"I'm probably coming down with something." Tohma tried to sound nonchalant. "We've been keeping a pretty busy schedule. I'll try to get a little more rest."

"And fluids," Ryuichi said brightly. "Always drink lots of fluids when you're sick." He held out a glass of water to Tohma.

"Thank you." Tohma accepted the glass and sipped a little of the water. "I'm sure I'll be fine in a day or two." It was a blatant lie, but the last thing Tohma wanted was more questions."

"Well," K began thoughtfully, "the only thing planned for today is that radio interview. I can take Noriko and Tetsuya-san over for that and you can stay here with Ryu and take it easy." He lifted an eyebrow at Tohma. "That's an order."

Tohma smiled, feeling relieved. "All right."

When they were alone, Ryuichi asked, "What do you want to do? Would you like to take a nap with Mr. Bear?"

Tohma laughed. "No! Why don't we watch a little TV? That's pretty relaxing."

They sat on the couch and watched cartoons. Ryuichi sat with his legs crossed with Mr. Bear in his lap, staring intently at the TV. Tohma watched Ryuichi rather than the TV. A strange hunger was stirring inside him as he studied Ryuichi's profile. Ryuichi had such an innocent beauty about him. He was sensuously adult when he was singing, and the rest of the time he was like a little boy. Tohma suddenly felt a tremendous urge to see the adult Ryuichi.

"Sing something for me, Ryu."

"What?"

"Whatever you like."

"Umm… Ok." Ryuichi straightened up and began to sing. The beauty of it awakened Tohma's appetite completely. He slid across the couch to Ryu and put his arms around him. He leaned his head on Ryu's shoulder and listened to the delicious notes pouring from of his throat. When Ryuichi finished the song, Tohma kissed him on the neck.

"What was that for?"

"Hold still," Tohma whispered and he bit Ryuichi on the neck, just above his shoulder.

"Ow!"

Tohma tasted Ryuichi's blood on his tongue. A confusion of desire, hunger and fear tumbled around inside him as he licked the blood from the wound he'd made. But finally, the hunger won out, and he bit down harder and began to suck.

Ryuichi moaned softly as Tohma drank from him, but he didn't try to pull away. Finally, guilt about what he was doing overwhelmed Tohma and he stopped.

"I'm sorry, Ryu! I shouldn't have done that."

Ryuichi stared at him in confusion. "You bit me!"

"I know. Please don't tell anyone. I promise not to do it again."

"You shouldn't bite people," Ryuichi said with a frown.

"You're absolutely right, Ryu." Tohma sat back. "People shouldn't bite." Tohma felt sick to his stomach. What was Miranda doing to him? "I think I will go lie down for a little while. Why don't you watch TV until K gets back?"

"Ok." Ryuichi held out Mr. Bear. "Do you want Mr. Bear to come with you?"

"No thank you. I think he should stay with you and keep you company."

"Have a nice nap."

Tohma closed the door to the bedroom so that Ryuichi would not hear him weeping.

- - - - - - - -

Their last three concerts in the Eastern United States were in Chicago. They then had five days off before traveling to Toronto for two more concerts. The evening of their first day off, Tohma ditched the others so he could meet Miranda. As usual, she had reserved a suite in a swanky hotel and sent him a card with the hotel and room number on it. He arrived there hating himself, and angry with himself for feeling that way. Tohma was normally his own favorite person. The only people he might possibly like more were Ryuichi and Eiri Uesugi. But Miranda was making him do things that made him ashamed of himself, and he hated that feeling. He knocked on the door still frowning and Miranda pouted when she saw him.

"Tohma, my love," she said, "it makes me think you don't want to see me when you look like that."

"Really?" he replied shortly as he walked past her into the room.

She closed the door behind him. "Tohma!" she admonished him sharply.

He turned to face her with his arms crossed. She glided up to him and took his hat off, tossing it onto a chair. She pushed his coat off his shoulders and pulled it down his arms until it caught on his elbows. When he didn't move, she glided around behind him and reached around his chest to unfold his arms and pull them down against his sides. His coat fell off in a heap at their feet. She slid her hands up his arms to his shoulders and turned him around to face her. Still clasping his shoulders, she pulled him closer until their bodies were touching, and then she put her arms around his neck.

"You're the only man I'm seeing right now, Tohma," she murmured. "It's been a long time since one person attracted me as much as you do." She studied his face intently. "You are so beautiful." She kissed him deeply. "Come with me." She led him by the hand into the bedroom.

Miranda undressed him slowly, stroking her tongue delicately across his skin to taste him as she exposed him, pausing every now and then to drink from him briefly at different places on his body. It was vampire love-making and it was not the first time she had done it to him. For Tohma, it was devastatingly erotic. He was completely naked and utterly aroused by the time she draped herself across him and sank her teeth into his neck. Her slow, sensuous sucking climaxed him.

She left him on the bed, spent and exhausted, to fall asleep alone.

- - - -

"Wake up!" a voice hissed in his ear.

"Tohma clawed his way up out of sleep, groggy and confused. "K, is that you?" he rasped out.

"Speak English, dammit!" the voice hissed, and Tohma felt something cold pressed against his neck. "Did you drink from her?"

Tohma came wide awake as the meaning of that angry demand sank in, and only then did he realize the thing pressed against his throat was a knife. He blinked up at the ceiling, afraid to move. He couldn't see the man holding the knife clearly. It was still dark.

"No," Tohma said, speaking English.

"Have you ever drunk from her?"

"No."

The knife moved away from his throat. "You're lucky. And not just because I would have killed you otherwise." The man climbed off the bed and crossed the room to flip on the light.

Tohma sat up. "Who are you?"

The man leaned against the wall. "My name is Anderson Keyes." He studied Tohma. "You're Japanese, aren't you?"

"Yes." Tohma pulled the blanket up around his shoulders. He was always cold after Miranda took him.

Anderson Keyes was tall, nearly two meters, but his muscular physique was perfectly proportioned for his height. His brown hair was trimmed short and he regarded Tohma with brown eyes that were almost exactly the same shade as his hair. He possessed the kind of uniform good looks that would make strangers say he was handsome, yet leave them unable to describe him clearly later.

He was not Tohma's type. But then, neither was Miranda.

"I don't recall Miranda taking a Japanese before," Anderson said. "But judging from the bite marks, she must really like you." He smiled humorlessly. "I should kill you just to spite her."

"Mr. Keyes, I'm no one to you. Why should you care?" Tohma was frightened. He did not like being frightened.

"Because you're someone to her. And I imagine there are others out there who will care if she turns you."

"Turns me?"

"What do you think she's doing? She'll keep drinking you until you die from it and then you'll become a vampire too, just like her."

Tohma clutched the blanket around him and shook his head in disbelief and fear. "No! That is not what I want!"

"If you really mean that, I can help you."

Tohma stared at Anderson, his heart pounding. "I do not want to die, Mr. Keyes."

Anderson smiled. "Call me Andy."


	5. Anderson Keyes

**Profiterole**: You like Quatre, too, eh? Ah… We have many of the same weaknesses…

**Din Shuuichi**: Glad you found me! I am definitely happier here.

Chapter 5: Anderson Keyes

Anderson waited in the other room for Tohma to get dressed. Tohma was dizzy and it took him much longer than it should have. Anderson was standing in the middle of the living room with Tohma's coat over his arm and his hat in one hand when Tohma finally left the bedroom.

"You don't look good," Anderson said. "You should let me take you home." He handed Tohma his hat and held his coat out for him.

Tohma plopped the hat on the back of his head and slipped his arms into the coat sleeves. _God, I'm tired._ He closed his eyes for a moment to fight the dizziness. "Thank you, Mr. Keyes. I think I shall have to accept your offer."

"Like I said, call me Andy." He started for the door. "We'll stop for food."

They ate at a coffee shop. It was not the sort of place Tohma would have normally patronized, but the food was surprisingly good and there was plenty of it. Tohma was starving. Under the circumstances, he was not too proud to stuff himself like the expectant Noriko.

Andy just drank coffee. "How long has she been taking you?" he asked.

"Almost two months."

Andy looked surprised. "You look pretty bad for being so new."

"She said last night I am the only man she's seeing."

"Really? How often does she take you?" Andy leaned forward, staring at Tohma intently.

"Every few days."

"Shit!" Andy sat back with an angry frown. "I should have come after you sooner. It might be too late."

"Too late?" That sounded horribly ominous. "What do you mean?"

"She'll have infected you pretty badly. You might not recover, especially if you've started drinking, too."

Tohma thought of Ryuichi and blanched.

Andy studied his face. "You did drink someone." It was a statement, not a question.

"Just once," Tohma said softly. He felt like he was admitting to some shameful act.

"Try not to do it again." Andy leaned forward with his arms on the table, his coffee cup clasped in both hands. "I admit I don't understand everything, but I do know that once a vampire's pet starts drinking other people, it's pretty much all downhill from there. You have to resist the urge, no matter what."

Tohma stared at him. "Has this happened to you, Andy?"

Andy looked down. "No. But I lost someone close to me to a vampire." He met Tohma's eyes. "I swore I wouldn't let it happen to anybody else, if I could stop it." He smiled suddenly. "You know, I never did ask you your name."

"Tohma Seguchi."

"How do you do, Mr. Seguchi?" Andy held out his hand and Tohma shook it, feeling faintly amused. "What do you do for a living, Tohma?"

Tohma almost laughed. "Where do I start? I am the president of a multi-national production company, but right now I'm on tour as a keyboard player in a synth rock group called Nittle Grasper."

Andy grinned in surprise. "That's mighty diverse, but it explains why Miranda's after you. She loves musicians. My friend was a singer." His smile turned sad. "And he was good-looking, like you."

Tohma tucked the last bit of toast into his mouth and sat back. He'd eaten more food in this one meal than he was accustomed to eating in an entire day. He felt terribly stuffed, but at least the dizziness was starting to fade.

"Tohma, you need to get away from Miranda," Andy said abruptly. "I know it's past the point where you can resist her, so you have to go where she can't find you."

"I can't do that, Andy. We're on tour. Our schedule is already fixed. She knows where I'll be for the next month."

Andy frowned. "Do you have some free time?"

Tohma was a little confused by the abrupt change in topic. "Yes, but why?"

"I want to show you what you're in for if you don't break free of her. Can you go out with me tonight?"

"I think so."

"Good. We'll go vampire hunting." He signaled the waitress. "But first I'll take you to your hotel. You need to get some sleep."

-

K was waiting, looking like he was ready to start shooting people, when Tohma entered the lobby. "Just because you have the night off doesn't mean you can disappear all night without telling me where you're going." He shoved his face so close to Tohma's that their noses were practically touching. "Do it again, and I'll put a tracer on you, just like Ryuichi."

"I'm sorry, K. It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't." K accompanied Tohma up to his room as if he didn't trust him to actually go there. "And you look like shit."

"I was up all night." Not quite the truth, but close enough. "Where's Ryu? Because I'd really like to get some sleep."

"He's with Nori. I'll tell him to leave you alone for a few hours."

"Thank you." Tohma paused at the door to his room. "K, I have something I need to do tonight. I'll probably be out all night again."

"Oh, so you think telling me in advance that I won't know where you are is going to make me feel better?" K snarled sarcastically. "If I shoot you in the leg, you can still play, but you can't wander off."

Tohma smiled disarmingly. "Don't be silly, K. You can't shoot me. I'm your boss."

K poked Tohma's forehead. "Not when we're on tour."

"This is important, K."

K frowned. "Fine! But it better be the last time." He thumped Tohma in the chest. "If you get yourself killed, I'll shoot you." He marched off back toward the elevator.

Tohma entered his room with a sigh. He was starting to feel dizzy again. He stripped out of his clothes and crawled into bed, feeling incredibly tired. _Andy is right. I have to get away from her. Somehow._

-

"Be quiet, Mr. Bear. You'll wake Tohma."

Tohma opened one eye to find Ryuichi sitting cross-legged on the bed beside him, playing with Mr. Bear. "It's all right, Ryu, I'm awake." Tohma sat up on one elbow. "How long have you been here?"

"Hours and hours." Ryuichi grinned. "Mr. Bear said you were going to sleep through dinner."

Tohma sat up completely. "Is it that late?" He glanced at the clock. It read 6:12pm. He'd slept all day. "Damn! I should have arranged a wake-up call." Stark hunger tightened his belly and suddenly he was intensely aware of Ryuichi's scent. The seductive, masculine aroma of his friend excited him. Tohma licked his lips as he remembered the taste of Ryuichi. Thirst consumed him. "Ryu," he whispered, "come here."

Ryuichi looked at him with his usual innocent expression and scooted across the bed. Tohma put his arms around his shoulders.

"I need something from you, Ryu. You'll let me have it, won't you?"

Ryuichi blinked at him. "Of course."

"Thank you." Tohma pressed his lips against Ryuichi's neck and licked him. The taste was exhilarating. He opened his mouth wider and bit down, tasting Ryuichi's blood. Ryuichi gasped softly as Tohma pushed him down into the pillows, sucking hungrily. The taste of blood was thrilling, but the feel of Ryuichi in his arms and the wonderful scent of him in Tohma's nose were utterly arousing. After all those times with Miranda, it was heavenly to have a man in his arms again.

"Tohma said he wouldn't bite Ryu again!" Ryuichi cried plaintively.

Tohma froze, suddenly, painfully, aware of what he was doing. It wasn't just the drinking. He realized he was on the verge of making love to Ryuichi. He rolled away and sat up on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

"Forgive me, Ryu! I am so sorry!" Tears of shame and fear began to slide down his cheeks.

"Don't cry, Tohma!" Ryuichi sounded worried. "It doesn't hurt."

"Please go find K, Ryu. Have dinner with K. I need to go somewhere."

Ryuichi's lip quivered. "You don't want to be with Ryuichi?"

"That's just the problem," Tohma whispered. "I do. Please go now, Ryu. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ryuichi climbed off the bed, but he hesitated at the door. "Will you be all right, Tohma?"

"I hope so," Tohma answered faintly.

Tohma showered and dressed after Ryuichi left. He felt a thousand times better, but he wondered if it was because of the sleep or the blood. He didn't want to know the answer. He waited in his room for Anderson Keyes to call. Andy had said it would be late. He finally called a little bit before 10pm and told Tohma to meet him out front.

Andy was waiting outside the lobby doors, dressed in a long trench coat quite similar to Tohma's, although without the fur collar and cuffs.

"How did you sleep?"

"Quite well. I slept the day through."

"Good." Andy hailed a taxi.

"You said we were going vampire hunting," Tohma prompted.

"We are." Andy gave the cab driver directions to a waterfront bar. "I'll explain when we get there."

The bar was in a trendy part of town, but on a seedy looking side street. On the sidewalk outside, Andy put his arm around Tohma's shoulders and leaned close so he could speak directly into Tohma's ear.

"This place is frequented by vampires. We won't run into Miranda here, though; too tacky for her. They'll be able to tell someone's been drinking you. It will make some of them shy away and attract others. There will also be regular humans, but they'll all be someone's pet. They're the ones I'm bringing you here to see."

With his arm still around Tohma, Andy led the way inside. The bar was dim and smoky. Softly muted music floated from hidden speakers. The patrons were mostly couples, sitting close together. As Tohma's eyes adjusted to the gloom, he realized that what he had taken for simple necking was much more. All around him, vampires were feeding more or less openly on their companions. And the companions were enthralled. Their eyes glazed with pleasure, they slumped against their vampire lovers, completely submissive. The sight sickened him. His steps faltered as Andy led him to the bar.

"Two beers," Andy ordered casually. The bartender looked him over with a raised eyebrow before turning away to fill two mugs from the tap.

Tohma grasped his mug desperately and downed half of it in one long quaff. Andy sipped his more slowly, looking around.

"This is what she wants, Tohma. To make you like this. Most of the humans in here are drinking from somebody else. It helps them sustain the vampire's appetite. But blood-drinking is a very sensuous experience, for both parties. In humans, it tends to arouse a sexual response, which is why a vampire's pet usually ends up drinking from a lover. Love-making and blood-drinking tend to go hand-in-hand for humans that are starting to turn." Andy sipped his beer and looked at Tohma. "A vampire's pet can retain his or her humanity for several months, maybe a year, if they aren't drinking too much blood on their own, or if the vampire has a harem. But in an exclusive relationship, it can happen much faster, especially if the human doesn't have much self-control." A bitter expression briefly crossed Andy's face.

Tohma looked around at the couples nuzzling each other. He could imagine himself in such an embrace with Miranda. It had happened often enough, just in the privacy of hotel rooms, not in a public bar. He turned away and downed the rest of his beer. "I have to get away from her! I have my own life. I'm no one's pet!"

Andy finished his beer and signaled to the bartender for two more. "It might be too late."

"You said that before."

"She's taken you a lot, Tohma. You might not be able to stay away from her even if you want to."

"I may surprise you."

Andy studied him. "You might at that."

The bartender brought them their second round and Andy sipped his beer thoughtfully. "Getting away from a vampire isn't easy. We may have to kill her."

Tohma sipped his own beer. "If it's necessary, then it must be done." He favored Andy with a hard look. "I did not get to where I am by taking the easy path."

Andy lifted his beer in a salute. "Very well. Some of the locals are checking you out. Why don't you leave first? They'll follow you and I'll back you up. No time like the present to kill your first vampire." He put his beer down and slipped his hand inside his coat. Then he hugged Tohma around the waist. Tohma felt him press something long and hard against his side underneath his own coat. "Take it," Andy whispered in his ear.

Tohma put his hand inside his coat and grasped the object. It felt like a wooden stick.

Andy leaned back. "See you later, man!" he called loudly.

"Yeah, later," Tohma echoed. He turned and headed out the entrance. He had just started up the side street toward the main boulevard when someone called out to him.

"Hey, Mr. Long Coat, wait up!"

Tohma turned to see two young men hurrying after him. He waited for them.

"We've never seen you in there before," said one, a slender blond, when they reached him.

"I've never been there before."

"Were you looking for someone in particular?" This one, a huskier brunette, was staring at Tohma with hungry eyes. The blond ran the tip of his tongue over his sharp white teeth.

"Yes, but she wasn't there."

"Maybe you wouldn't mind spending a little time with us instead? I'm sure we could make it enjoyable for you." They moved closer, their eyes alight with desire. Tohma took a step backward.

"Sorry, gentlemen, but my friend's not interested."

The two vampires whirled around to find Andy standing behind them. "Get lost!" the blond snarled. "He's ours!"

"Oh, I beg to differ," Tohma replied, feeling strangely calm. "I don't belong to anyone but me." He pulled the stake out from under his coat. The blond stared at him in confusion.

"Aim for the heart," Andy advised calmly and he jammed a stake into the brunette. The vampire's scream of anguish was echoed immediately by the blond's startled cry as Tohma thrust his own stake as hard as he could into the young man's chest. The blond vampire exploded into a cloud of dust. The other shriveled into a dried husk.

"Well that's interesting," Andy remarked. "The blond was a lot older than I thought. He was pretty stupid, for all his years. He should have seen that coming. This one was probably a former pet of his." Andy looked around. "Let's get out of here. All that screaming may draw some attention." He stepped over the desiccated corpse and continued up the street. Tohma fell into step beside him.

"That was easier than I expected."

"It can be. If they don't expect it, you can frequently catch them off guard. Older vampires are harder, though, and Miranda's very old."

Tohma glanced at Andy out of the corner of his eye. "Where did you learn all this?"

"Around."

"Andy," Tohma said sharply, "You were the one who came to me and offered me your help."

Andy sighed. "It's hard for me to talk about it."

"It's still early." Tohma hailed a passing taxi. "Let's go somewhere and talk."

They climbed into the taxi and Andy gave the driver directions. He stared out the window without speaking as they drove away from the waterfront and back into the city. Tohma did not question him. He could wait. He hadn't gotten where he was in life by being impatient, either.

The cab dropped them at a motel. Andy looked apologetic. "Your hotel's quite a bit nicer, but I didn't want to risk running into your friends."

"You're staying here?" It looked like the sort of motel where streetwalkers would bring their clients.

"I'm on a budget."

Andy had a room on the second floor, where the walkway overlooked the fenced-in pool. The room was clean and not particularly rundown, much to Tohma's surprise. He took off his coat and draped it over the back of the room's lone chair. He put his hat on the seat and sat down on the bed closest to the door. Andy stretched out on the other bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"I used to live with a guy," Andy said quietly. "We met in high school." He put his arm across his eyes. "We fell in love in high school. We were together for ten years. I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Then Tony met Miranda." Andy turned away and stared at the wall. "He had a day job, but what he really wanted to do was sing. He sang with this little nothing band, working the club scene at night. That's how he met her. At some club. I didn't know what was going on at first, I just thought he was seeing someone. I was so hurt I didn't know what to do. And then he started drinking from me."

"You said it never happened to you," Tohma interrupted quietly.

"Not with a vampire." Andy's voice was choked. "Just with him. I let him do it because I loved him. I begged him to stop seeing her, but he couldn't do it. He loved the way it felt. He kept urging me to try it with him. And one night I almost did it. I really wanted to. It terrified me. I told him I would leave him if he didn't stop seeing her; if he didn't stop drinking blood." Andy stopped and a sob escaped him. He looked at Tohma and there were tears running down his face. "He left me."

"What happened to him?"

"He turned." Andy wiped his tears away with the heel of his hand. "After a few weeks, I went to look for him. I saw him at a club he used to sing at. When he saw me, he just smiled. And then he started drinking from the boy he was with." Andy began to weep softly.

Tohma said nothing for a long time. Andy's sorrow softened his features and took the fierceness out of his face. "I'm sorry," he said finally. "Did you ever see him again?"

"Yes. The night I killed him."

Tohma swallowed. "Why did you do that?"

"Because he tried to take me, and I refused to become what he had become, even to be with him again." He sat up slowly. "He left me because the pleasure of blood-drinking meant more to him than I did. That's how seductive it is." He fixed Tohma with a harsh stare. "You've done it. Tell me you can resist it when you're looking into your lover's eyes!"

Tohma couldn't meet Andy's gaze. He could still taste Ryuichi in his mouth.

"Perhaps I didn't love him enough," Andy continued softly. "Maybe if I had really loved him, I would have let him take me and we would still be together."

"Like those two vampires we killed tonight? Feeding side by side on the same victim?"

Andy stared at him. "You understand."

Tohma nodded. "I will not let that happen to me, Andy, nor to the people I care about." He moved over to the other bed and put his arm around Andy. "Thank you for helping me, and for your honesty."

"You're welcome." Andy smiled sadly at him. "I haven't told anyone that story before."

"I appreciate your confidence. But what do we do next?"

"It depends on you."

"How so?"

"You said you drank from someone once. Was it really only once? And do you see that person on a regular basis?"

Tohma bit his lip. "It happened a second time earlier this evening. I told you I slept all day, so I was ravenous when I woke up. My friend was there and the hunger was irresistible." He flushed. "I wanted to make love to him."

"Is he your lover?"

"No. He's the singer in our band. We've been friends for a very long time, but never lovers." Tohma frowned at Andy's look of surprise.

"You must still have very strong feelings for him if he attracts you like that. But if he's not your lover, do you have one? Because you will be completely unable to resist that person if you have this much trouble with a close friend."

"No," Tohma said, but he thought of Eiri as he said it. Eiri was not his lover either, but he felt even more deeply for him than he did for Ryuichi.

"Well, look, Tohma, you have to keep away from this friend of yours, or learn to resist him. You have to do one or the other, because if you start drinking from him regularly, you'll infect him and you'll make yourself worse."

Tohma returned Andy's concerned look with a steady gaze. "All my life I have done whatever I needed to do to get what I want. I will not endanger my friends. I will not lose my life to Miranda Collins. Tell me everything I need to know about vampires, Andy. I am freeing myself from this trap."


	6. Gains and Losses

**Guren**: Oh, goody! More readers! Tell ALL your friends!

**Profiterole**: I fear the sadness in this story is a reaction to the rampant silliness in my Gundam Wing stories. I usually work on this one first and the GW second, so I'm not depressed when I go to bed.

**Duelist of the Sands**: Thanks for the compliment!

**Summoner of Suzaku**: Ask and ye shall receive! (Eventually!)

**Gravi freak**: You probably figured it out. This all happens three or four years before Tohma gets married.

o-o-o-o-o-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chapter 6: Gains and Losses

"The truth is, I don't hate all vampires," Andy said. "A lot of them are decent enough. They don't kill, or turn people against their will. It's the ones like Miranda I can't stand."

"How can you tell the difference?"

"It's pretty easy," Andy replied grimly. "Like those two tonight; they aren't inclined to take no for an answer." He glanced at Tohma and looked away. "And as you've learned, once a vampire starts taking you, it gets real hard not to do the same to others. Especially people you love, because you're already attracted to them."

Tohma frowned. "You're telling me I need to stay away from my friends."

"If you can't control yourself around them…" Andy left the rest unsaid.

Tohma stood up and walked to the window. He peeked out through the curtains, lost in thought. Why was he so attracted to Ryuichi? He had never felt a sexual attraction for him before, so why now? Was the blood-lust alone awakening this desire in him, or was it something else?

"When was the last time you got laid, Tohma?"

Tohma started at the question. "I beg your pardon?"

"You said you didn't have a lover. Maybe the reason you're having trouble resisting your friend is simpler than you think."

Tohma turned to stare at Andy. "You think I'm sexually frustrated?"

Andy shrugged.

"You really haven't been with a vampire," Tohma said softly. "Miranda…" he paused. "She knows how to satisfy me."

"It's not the same thing." Andy shook his head. "She can make you have an orgasm, but most humans need more than that. Humans crave intimate contact. Vampires can have sex, but they don't need to do it, not the way humans do."

"Did Miranda have sex with your lover?"

"I don't know. I never asked him." Andy ran his fingers through his hair. "Tohma, I think you need to have sex with someone. Someone you don't really care about. If you can do it without drinking, it might be easier to be around your friend. You might not lose control again."

"Are you volunteering?"

"What?"

Tohma crossed his arms. "When was your last time?"

Andy blinked at him in surprise. "Not since…" He hesitated. "Not since Tony left. I haven't been able to…" he trailed off.

"Do you find me attractive?"

Andy swallowed. "You know you are."

"That's not what I asked." Tohma moved back to sit down on the bed opposite Andy. "I know I'm good-looking. I asked if you find me attractive."

Andy leaned back slightly. "That's not why I offered to help you."

"You're avoiding the question." Tohma held Andy's gaze.

Andy swallowed again. "Yes," he whispered. "But I wasn't offering to…" He dropped his eyes.

Tohma leaned across and put his hand on Andy's knee. "Nevertheless, it's a good suggestion. And at this moment, there are not a lot of people that I trust. Will you go to bed with me, Andy?"

Andy looked up to meet his eyes. He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. Then he nodded.

"I appreciate your trust, Andy," Tohma said, "but you must promise me something first."

"What?"

"If I start to lose control, promise me that you won't let me drink from you. Use whatever force is necessary." Then he smiled. "Without killing me, if possible."

Andy smiled back. "I promise." He looked around the room. "This is hardly the most romantic situation."

Tohma stood up. "Romance is in the mind." He pulled Andy to his feet. "Close your eyes."

Andy closed his eyes.

Tohma put his hand on Andy's cheek and lifted his lips to Andy's mouth. He kissed him very gently, letting the kiss linger for a long, intimate moment. "Now, you do the same thing," he said, and closed his eyes. He felt Andy's hand cup his cheek and a moment later, Andy's lips touched his in a soft, sensuous kiss.

Tohma opened his mouth and licked Andy's lips. Andy's lips parted and his tongue stroked gently against Tohma's. They began to kiss more deeply and Andy's hand slipped behind Tohma's neck. His other arm encircled Tohma's shoulders and pulled him close. Excitement began to stir in Tohma. He put his arms around Andy's waist.

They undressed each other, standing between the beds. Neither spoke. Tohma closed his eyes as Andy began to caress him, savoring the feel of powerful but gentle hands sliding over his skin. It had been a very long time. He moaned softly as Andy drew him onto the bed, on his knees. Andy knelt behind him and put his arms around Tohma, his lips and tongue moving lovingly along Tohma's shoulder.

Andy took him and Tohma gasped with joy. Ecstatic pleasure welled up in him and his head fell back against Andy's muscular shoulder. He cried aloud as Andy moved in him, driving his hard member into Tohma's body with relentless urgency. Tohma's orgasm went far beyond what he experienced with Miranda. Andy's gasps of pleasure echoed his own and the joy of their mutual climax filled Tohma with a very deep, very human satisfaction.

"Oh god!" Andy whispered. "I had forgotten what it was like."

"I hadn't," Tohma answered. He kissed Andy on the cheek. "Perhaps that is why resisting Ryu has been so hard for me."

Andy sank onto his heels and Tohma sank down with him.

Andy stroked his fingers through Tohma's hair. "You have the loveliest hair. But the color is so un-Japanese." He kissed Tohma on the neck and shoulder. "How do you feel?"

"Wonderful," Tohma sighed. "And not thirsty." He laughed softly. "When I first saw you, I thought that you were not my type. So what part of myself do I believe now? The part of me that still wants more of you, or the part that feels no hunger for you?" He turned around and climbed into Andy's lap, wrapping his legs around Andy's hips. "I think I'll go with the part that wants more." He put his arms around Andy's neck and kissed him passionately.

Andy put his hands under Tohma's bottom and lifted him up so he could put himself back in. He began thrusting into Tohma, slowly at first, but he gradually began to move faster and faster, until they were both gasping and groaning aloud with pleasure. Tohma moved with him, abandoning himself completely to unbridled passion. They came together, clinging to each other and shuddering with orgasm.

"Thank you, Tohma," Andy moaned softly.

"I should thank you," Tohma murmured in response. "I was mistaken. I had forgotten what it was like. I think I can face my desires now, and control them."

"I would pay any price to help one person escape her. I have never asked and never expected anything in return. What you have given me…" Andy paused and gazed directly into Tohma's eyes. "Maybe I can learn to forgive myself for being unable to help Tony."

"I am glad we have helped each other." Tohma glanced at the clock and sighed. "But, I had better get back to the hotel before my manager feels compelled to track me down."

"I'll go with you, just to make sure you get there safely." Andy smiled. "I've seen your manager."

-

Tohma slept better that night than he had slept for a long time. He took a long, hot shower in the morning and felt wonderfully refreshed. He called room service for a light breakfast and then hauled out his keyboard to practice while he waited. A knock at his door shortly afterward seemed a little too quick for room service, so he was not surprised to find a man in an inexpensive sport coat and jeans waiting outside.

"May I help you?"

"Tohma Seguchi?"

"Yes?"

The man held up a policeman's badge with his picture on it. "I'm Sergeant Jim Watts of Chicago PD. I would like to ask you a few questions."

"Of course." Tohma let the policeman in and closed the door behind him. "How may I assist you?"

"Do you know this man?" Sergeant Watts handed Tohma a Polaroid snapshot.

Tohma stared at the snapshot and his heart sank. The picture was of Andy. It was a morgue photo. Andy was dead. For a moment, all Tohma could think about was how it had felt to be in Andy's arms. Then his heart turned to ice as cold fury took over. The paleness of Andy's bloodless skin made the bite marks stand out clearly. Andy had been killed by a vampire.

Tohma handed the picture back. "His name is Anderson Keyes. I met him two days ago. I'm a producer and he wanted to talk to me about a singer. We never got to specifics. I don't think he's a native of Chicago."

Sergeant Watts took notes in a small notebook as Tohma spoke. "That explains why he had your business card in his pocket. Unfortunately, he didn't have any other ID on him."

"May I ask where he was found?"

"In the alley behind this hotel. That's how we found you so quickly."

"I see." Tohma trailed his fingers across his keyboard, producing a brief, mournful riff. He debated whether or not to tell the policeman where Andy had been staying. They would undoubtedly find out eventually, and if anyone there remembered Tohma, it would make him look guilty for not mentioning it. Better to be safe. "I had a meeting last night with Mr. Keyes at the motel where he was staying. He accompanied me back here in a taxi. He came into the lobby, but that's where we parted. I believe the motel was called Lakeshore Inn, but it was not near the water."

Sergeant Watts nodded as he jotted the information down. "I think I know the place. Will you be in town for a while, Mr. Seguchi?"

"We are scheduled to leave for Toronto in two days, but you can always reach me through my production company. The information is on my card."

"Can I have another one of those? The other one is evidence, I'm afraid."

"Of course." Tohma gave him a card and Sergeant Watts tucked it into the breast pocket of his jacket.

"You don't have any idea who might have wanted to kill Mr. Keyes?"

"None at all, Sergeant," Tohma lied calmly. "He seemed like a perfectly ordinary fellow."

"They always do." Sergeant Watts stuck his notebook into a side pocket and held out his hand. "Thanks for your time, Mr. Seguchi. We'll be in touch if we need anything else from you."

Tohma shook his hand. "I'm sorry I could not provide more information."

"Oh, here, take this." Sergeant Watts produced a business card of his own. "If you think of anything, please give me a call. That's my direct line, so you can leave a message there."

Tohma took the card and followed the policeman to the door.

"Thanks again, Mr. Seguchi."

"You're welcome, Sergeant."

Tohma leaned against the closed door and began to shake. The effort of restraining his rage until the policeman had gone left him quivering. He clenched his fists. He had lied to Sergeant Watts. He knew exactly who had killed Andy: Miranda Collins.

-

Tohma met with the others in one of the hotel conference rooms that afternoon.

"I have called this meeting because I have arrived at an unfortunate decision." K, Noriko and Tetsuya-san stared at him with worried eyes. Ryuichi looked confused. "I am afraid I must cancel the remainder of the tour, at least as far as Nittle Grasper is concerned."

"What!" K bellowed.

"I don't understand!" Noriko exclaimed.

"Why?" Ryuichi's eyes welled up with tears.

"My reasons are personal, but I have no other choice. I am very sorry."

K slammed his hands down on the table and shoved himself to his feet. He yanked his pistol out of its holster and pointed it at Tohma's head. "Goddammit Tohma! I won't stand for this! First you're sneaking off at all hours and now you're breaking up the band?" He cocked the pistol. "You tell me what's going on right now!"

"No." Tohma's calm demeanor made K waver. His hand holding the gun drooped. "As I said," Tohma continued, "I am sorry, but this is something I must do."

Ryuichi chewed on Mr. Bear's ear. Huge tears slid down his cheeks. "Tohma doesn't want to be with Ryuichi anymore?" The heartbreak in his voice brought tears to Tohma's eyes.

"I don't want to leave you Ryu, but I have to." Even now, with all the others present, Tohma could feel the sweet desire brought on by Ryuichi's scent. Hunger stirred in him, but he suppressed it. He was never going to give in to that weakness again. "K, I want you to go with Ryu and finish the tour. I'll get some backup keyboardists to fill in." K stared and Ryuichi began to whimper. "Nori-chan, it is time you and Tetsuya-san went home to become a normal family. I've already made plane reservations for you."

"But Tohma!" Noriko began.

Tohma interrupted her. "It has to be this way, Nori. I'm sorry."

She exchanged a worried, unhappy glance with her husband.

K folded his arms. "And what about you?"

"I have some business to attend to. When it's finished, I'll return to Japan."

"That's it. That's all you're going to tell us?"

"That's all I'm going to tell you." Tohma looked around at them, but his eyes finally came to rest on Ryuichi. "I am sorry to do this to you Ryu, but I know K will take good care of you. Trust him and do as he tells you, and you'll be all right."

Ryuichi sniffed. Mr. Bear's ear was getting very soggy. "O… Ok. If you say so, Tohma."

"Are you sure this is what you want, Tohma?" Noriko asked softly.

"Yes, it is."

"Very well." She squeezed Tetsuya's hand. "We'll go home."

"Thank you."

K frowned. "So you've finally decided to stop pretending you can be both a businessman and a musician, eh?"

Tohma sighed. "You might say that. You should leave for Toronto right away. The backup musicians will meet you there so you can rehearse before the first concert. Nori, your plane leaves tomorrow morning. I do not expect to see any of you again before you leave." He stood up. "Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to speak with Ryu privately for a moment."

He waited until the others filed out. K paused at the door. "I'll wait outside." Tohma nodded and K closed the door.

Ryuichi clutched Mr. Bear to his chest as Tohma approached him. Tohma put his hands on Ryuichi's shoulders. "Ryu, do you remember when I bit you?"

"Uh huh."

"I'm very sorry that happened. I don't want you to think about it anymore, all right?"

Ryuichi blinked in confusion. "Should Mr. Bear not think about it, too?"

"Yes, Mr. Bear shouldn't think about it either."

"Ok." Ryuichi's lower lip quivered. "Mr. Bear doesn't want Tohma to go away."

"I know." Tohma kissed Ryuichi gently on the cheek. The smell of his blood was intoxicating, but Tohma ignored it. He had only to think of Andy to find the will power to resist his thirst. "I will miss you more than I can tell you. But this is very important. Only something very important would take me away. You understand that, right?"

Ryuichi nodded.

"Good. I know you will have fun singing, so think about that, and we will see each other again."

Ryuichi managed a small smile. He resumed chewing on Mr. Bear's ear as Tohma led him to the door. K gave Tohma a long, hard look, but he said nothing as he took Ryuichi in tow. Tohma shut the door and returned to sit at the conference table. Now that his plate was clear, he had only one issue to resolve. Miranda Collins would pay dearly for taking Andy's life.

-

Everyone was gone. Tohma had taken Noriko and Tetsuya to the airport that morning. K and Ryuichi had left that afternoon. Now Tohma sat by himself on the edge of his bed looking at the elegantly handwritten card inviting him to a certain room at a particular hotel. Miranda's invitation. Tohma still felt cold inside. He had only known Andy for two days, but his death hurt nonetheless. Tohma wasn't sure why he was so certain Miranda had killed him. Andy had been killing vampires for years. There were undoubtedly many vampires who despised him. But the timing and location of his murder were too coincidental. There was no doubt in Tohma's mind. He put on his hat and coat and went to meet Miranda.

Miranda was wearing a revealing, pale lavender silk gown. It was very becoming on her. She embraced him tightly, pressing her soft, shapely body against his.

"I missed you, Tohma," she murmured into his ear. She nibbled his earlobe. "I should spend more time with you."

"Tell me something, Miranda," he murmured back. "Why did you kill Andy?"

She released him so abruptly that he stumbled backward. "Don't mention his name!" she snapped, her voice losing its seductive purr. "He deserved to die. He was always following me, frightening off my companions and interfering with my life." She crossed her arms and scowled at him.

"He was doing that before. Why wait until now to murder him?"

She looked away. "Because he went too far this time."

"Oh?"

"Because he touched you!" she screamed suddenly. She flailed him with her fists. "Your scent was all over him! You're mine and he took you!" She flung her arms around him. "You belong to me!" She sobbed against his shoulder.

"I don't belong to anyone but me, Miranda." He caught her by the wrists, pulled her arms from around his neck and pushed her away. She stared at him in shock. "You started this when you took his lover. Now you think he's done the same to you, but it isn't true. I was never your lover and I never will be."

"I love you, Tohma," she whispered. "I know you want to be with me. I can taste it in your blood."

"What you taste is your own desire." He turned away. "I don't want to see you anymore."

"No!" She caught him by the shoulder and spun him around. "You will always be with me. No one loves you as much as I do. You do belong to me!" She pulled him into her embrace and pressed her open mouth against his neck.

"I asked Andy to make love to me."

She froze, her teeth not quite puncturing his skin.

"I like women," Tohma continued quietly, "but I would rather be with another man. I don't love you, Miranda."

She pushed him away, shaking her head slowly.

"When I came here tonight, it was my intention to put an end to you." Tohma pulled a wooden stake from under his coat. "I even brought this. But I think now there is no point." He met her tear-filled eyes. "Perhaps your feelings for me are genuine, and so you deserve some consideration."

"Tohma…" she whispered.

"This must be the end, Miranda." He slipped the stake back inside his coat. "Find someone else to love. If we meet again, I will kill you."

She collapsed to her knees, sobbing, her face buried in her hands.

Tohma regarded her in silence for a moment and then left her, heartbroken and alone.


	7. Decision Time

Hello to all you new reader/reviewers! I am so happy more people are finding this story and are enjoying it. I enjoy writing it, though it does make me sad sometimes!

**Profiterole**: I started out planning for Tohma to kill Miranda, but when I started writing it, I could just feel how much she really loved him and when I put myself in Tohma's place, killing her just didn't feel right. Is that weird? I don't even stick to my own plots all the time.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chapter 7: Decision Time

"I returned to Japan," Tohma concluded. "I stayed in seclusion for about six months, until all trace of the craving had left me." He gave Eiri a hard look. "It wasn't easy. Even today, I still remember the way it made me feel, when I took Ryuichi. You know what I'm talking about."

Eiri looked away. He still did not want to admit the truth. Not to Tohma. "I don't need to do it."

"Don't you?" Tohma's skeptical look made Eiri flush with anger. "You drank from Shuichi this morning. Why?"

Eiri's flush deepened. "Why are you asking me this? It's none of your business!"

"Just answer me, Eiri!" Tohma spoke sternly. "Did he ask you to do it, or were you so tired from feeding him that you needed it?"

Shock momentarily silenced Eiri. How could Tohma possibly know that? "It's getting harder to sustain his appetite," Eiri admitted reluctantly. "I eat as much as I can, but my body can make blood only so fast."

"So I suspected," Tohma said. He leaned forward. "Eiri, you have to stop feeding him. If you don't, he might kill you. He will almost certainly injure you."

"But you said if he drinks from anyone else, he'll turn!"

"He's going to turn whether he drinks from someone else or not, Eiri," Tohma said. "Think about it! He hardly eats any more. He's living on your blood almost exclusively. When he can't get enough of that, he'll turn to others and that will be the end. There's nothing you can do but save yourself. You need to stop feeding him before he kills you."

"You say that like it's easy," Eiri said softly. "I… I want…"

Tohma sighed. "You want him to do it."

Eiri closed his eyes. "You say you understand, but do you? You said you didn't love that woman, Miranda. So you don't know what it's like to do it with someone you love."

"Perhaps not," Tohma agreed quietly, "but I have heard this story before. I know how it ends." Tohma slipped off the couch and dropped to his knees in front of Eiri. He took Eiri's hands gently in his. "I don't want to lose you, Eiri. I can't help Shuichi, but I can help you. I know you care about him, but he is too far gone. There is nothing you can do for him. You must protect yourself."

Eiri stared down at Tohma's hands clasping his own. "I can't just give up on him. Is there no way I can bring him back?"

"Only if he stops drinking blood and I don't think he can do that."

"You should not underestimate Shuichi." Eiri met Tohma's eyes. "He is more resourceful than you know."

"Then speak to him, if you think it will do any good." Tohma released Eiri's hands and stood up. "But don't say I didn't warn you. What is most important is that you must stop feeding him. Promise me that you will."

Eiri looked up to see honest concern on Tohma's face. "I love Shuichi, Tohma. I will help him if I can." Eiri stood up so he could look down at Tohma. "And I will stop feeding him, but not just because you tell me I must. I will stop because I've known for a long time now that I should."

"Whatever the reason, Eiri, as long as you do it." Tohma sounded relieved. He turned to go, but then he stopped and spoke over his shoulder. "Mika does not know about Miranda, or Andy. I would rather she did not know."

"Of course."

"Thank you. Please consider carefully what I have told you, Eiri. You are very important to me."

"I know. I will think about it."

"Good."

Eiri stared at the closed door long after Tohma departed. Tohma's story shocked him, although much of the shock came from the fact that he simply hadn't known. How had Tohma managed to keep such a secret for so many years? And now Eiri was forced to admit that Tohma was right. Eiri had to break Shuichi's habit or they would both be lost.

-

Shuichi arrived home from work radiating excitement and sexual energy. He bounded into Eiri's study and flung his arms around Eiri's shoulders, kissing his ear, cheek and neck in rapid succession.

"You smell so good tonight," Shuichi murmured, his lips brushing against Eiri's neck. "I'm so hungry!"

"Wait a second, let me save," Eiri replied quickly. He saved his file and closed his laptop. Then he grasped Shuichi's hands and pulled them gently apart. "We need to talk first."

"Do we have to?" Shuichi cried plaintively as Eiri stood up. "I'm starving!"

"Then I'll make dinner. I think you should eat real food."

"I'll have something after!"

Eiri frowned at him. "It's not good for either of us. You know that."

Shuichi's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I thought I smelled Seguchi-san! He's trying to break us up again, isn't he?"

"No, he's not," Eiri replied. "He's worried about you."

Shuichi looked skeptical. "I don't believe you. Tohma doesn't care what happens to me, as long as it doesn't affect you."

"That's true enough." Eiri put his arms around Shuichi. "But anything that happens to you affects me, so he does care. Listen, Shuichi. Tohma knows a lot more about vampires than we do. We should take his advice."

"I'm not a vampire!" Shuichi protested.

Eiri stroked his hair. "You're getting close, though, and that's what Tohma is worried about."

"I am not!" Tears welled up in Shuichi's eyes. "I just need you, that's all!"

"What about when you tried to bite Fujisaki?"

"But I didn't! And anyway, I was just angry." Shuichi pushed away, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. "And it hasn't happened again. I don't want anyone but you. I only need you!" He looked up at Eiri and his eyes filled up with tears again. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Eiri sighed. "That has nothing to do with it. I'm only thinking of your welfare."

"If you cared about me, you wouldn't torment me like this!" Shuichi grabbed the front of Eiri's shirt. "We both want it. Why is it wrong?"

The hurt and need in Shuichi's eyes, and the heartbroken pleading in his voice, broke Eiri's will. His own desire swept the last remnants away as he embraced Shuichi. "All right," he whispered. He kissed Shuichi deeply and then dropped his forehead onto Shuichi's shoulder. Shuichi's mouth immediately pressed against his neck, his warm tongue stroking eagerly over Eiri's skin. Eiri closed his eyes with a sigh as arousal stirred in him. Shuichi bit him and began sucking hungrily, and Eiri hardened in response. He tightened his arms around Shuichi, pressing his erection against Shuichi's hip.

Eiri let Shuichi drink until growing exhaustion began to combat with his aching desire. "Stop now," he finally whispered.

Shuichi stopped immediately. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "I took too much!" He frowned unhappily. "You taste so good, it's hard to stop."

"That's why," Eiri said tiredly, "we can't do this anymore." He looked into Shuichi's eyes. "I let you drink too much and it's killing me."

Shuichi's eyes went round. "But if you would drink too, you'd be all right. Everything was fine when you were drinking too." He caught Eiri's face in his hands and pulled Eiri's mouth to his throat. "Take some and you'll feel better. Then we'll have dinner. Real food! And I'll eat a lot, I promise."

Eiri tried to resist the urge. He didn't need to do this. The thirst did not drive him the way it did Shuichi. But the staggering exhaustion was winning. He needed to do something or he would be unconscious for days. Feeling helpless, he opened his mouth and licked Shuichi's neck. The taste of Shuichi's skin finished him. He bit down and began to drink.

The pleasure and relief were exhilarating. Eiri sucked deeply, filling his mouth with Shuichi's blood and swallowing it in hungry gulps. Shuichi's soft moans of excitement fueled Eiri's appetite and his desire. He pulled Shuichi to his knees as he drank, undoing his own trousers with one hand and freeing his erection. Eiri took one last deep suck and then pushed Shuichi onto his back, yanking his pants down. He lifted Shuichi's legs into the air and moved up against his bottom, putting himself in with a hard, urgent thrust.

Eiri took him hard and fast, doubly aroused by the dual pleasures of both feeding and drinking Shuichi. Shuichi cried aloud as Eiri fucked him, his back arching up and his hands pressing into the floor.

They came together, gasping out their pleasure in unison.

Shuichi sat up on his elbows. "Is this really so bad?" he asked softly. He looked up at Eiri with enormous eyes. His pupils were so dilated almost none of the color showed.

Eiri leaned forward and kissed him. "Sex with you has never been bad, Shu-chan. You turned me on long before you met Satoshi Seido." Eiri sat back and zipped up his trousers. "Now you promised to eat a big dinner."

"I will!" Shuichi rolled to his feet and hopped out of the room, pulling his pants up as he went. "I'll even cook!" he said brightly.

"I'll cook," Eiri corrected. "I'm not in the mood for your blackened Cajun-style 'it's not that burned' cooking."

Shuichi whirled around in mid-hop and stuck out his tongue. "Wretch!"

Shuichi kept his promise, but only in the relative sense. He ate more than he had been lately, but it was still far less than what he would have eaten when he and Eiri first met. Eiri decided not to make an issue of it. It was a step in the right direction. The real failure was his own inability to resist the seduction of blood-drinking. Eiri found himself staring at the bruise on Shuichi's neck. Tohma was right, damn him. They would never be able to stop dinking from each other as long as they were together.

-

Shuichi woke up feeling really good, which was surprising considering how little sleep he'd gotten. He always had trouble sleeping at night these days, but instead of wandering around the house trying not to wake Yuki, he'd made love with Yuki most of the night. Yuki was still sound asleep, sprawled on his stomach with his left arm handing off the bed. He looked adorable. And delicious. Shuichi had to fight the urge to drink from him as he slept. Yuki never took as much from Shuichi as Shuichi took from him, so he really did need to be careful. But careful was not the same thing as giving it up entirely, it just meant doing without every now and then.

Shuichi put on his clothes and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. The tea did not taste anywhere near as good as Yuki did, but he drank it anyway. He needed something in his belly to take the edge off his hunger. It would be a long day until he could see Yuki again that night. He left the house quietly and ran all the way to the studio.

Hiro was already there, playing riffs from their new song on his guitar.

"You're early," Shuichi said. Then he noticed the dark bags under Hiro's eyes. "What did you do, stay up all night?"

"Yeah, I did," Hiro admitted with a smile. "I was on the phone with Ayaka and we ended up talking all night."

"You love birds!" Shuichi laughed. "Why doesn't she just move in with you? Your phone bills must be outrageous."

"Ayaka is not as easy as you, my friend," Hiro replied archly. "You may be willing to spread your legs for the first pretty face you see, but she is a lady."

"You calling me a whore?" Shuichi demanded in mock indignation.

"If the fish-net stockings and red stiletto heels fit…"

"Bastard!" Shuichi cried, trying not to laugh. He made a grab at Hiro, but somehow he was the one who ended up in a headlock.

Hiro gave him noogies.

"Stop that!" Shuichi struggled to break loose, but he was laughing too hard to put much effort into it.

"Not until you apologize for impugning Miss Ayaka's honor."

"Her honor!" Shuichi exclaimed. "I'm the one who got insulted!"

"It's no insult to speak the truth," Hiro stated virtuously. He twisted his knuckles into Shuichi's scalp again.

"Cut it out!" Shuichi squirmed vigorously until he was able to pull his head free. His hair was all standing on end.

"You look a sight," Fujisaki remarked.

Shuichi hastily smoothed his hair. "When did you get here?"

"Just now." Fujisaki grinned at them. "Lover's quarrel?"

"Oh, shut up!" Shuichi grumbled. "Let's rehearse."

"That's why we're here," Fujisaki replied. He sounded smug.

Shuichi glared at him. "Is there something you want to tell us?"

Now Fujisaki looked smug. "Well, K did just mention to me that advance sales of our new album are already exceeding expectations. He's thinking of booking a series of TV spots to promote it."

"TV?" Hiro and Shuichi blinked at each other.

"Yup, TV." Fujisaki made it sound like he was personally responsible. "So we better get on with the rehearsal. We don't want to look like idiots on national television."

"Why not?" Hiro shrugged. "We have before."

Fujisaki frowned. "It would be better if you took this seriously, Nakano-san."

"I do." Hiro smiled and strummed a discordant note. "Shall we begin?"

They rehearsed for six hours before breaking for a quick lunch. Shuichi made a show of eating his rice ball so Hiro wouldn't say anything. It quieted his stomach, but it did nothing to assuage his growing thirst.

"Do you want the rest of my rice ball, Shuichi?" Hiro asked. "You still look hungry."

"No, I'm fine. I want to save room for dinner."

"Is Yuki-san making something special?"

"Sort of."

Hiro studied him. "Are you ok, Shuichi? You've been a little withdrawn since you tried to beat the shit out of Fujisaki."

"Hey!" exclaimed Fujisaki.

"I'm fine," Shuichi said quickly.

"That's good." Hiro smiled. "I was worried you might be having headaches from K bashing your brains in."

"You worry about him!" Fujisaki grumbled. "I'm the one who was nearly choked to death."

"You don't seem any the worse for it," Hiro replied lightly. "And since Shuichi says he's fine, it's time to get back to work."

Fujisaki continued to grumble to himself as they resumed playing.

-

After work, Hiro walked Shuichi part way home.

"You know, Shuichi," Hiro said, "neither you nor Yuki ever told me what was wrong with you. He made it sound like you were, well, addicted or something."

"Oh, it was nothing like that!" Shuichi tried to sound casual. "I was having trouble sleeping, that's all."

"Oh. Well, I suppose sleep deprivation could make you act pretty weird." Hiro didn't sound convinced. He stopped and clasped Shuichi by the shoulder. "You know you can count on me if you need anything, right?"

"I know." Shuichi squeezed Hiro's hand where it rested on his shoulder. "You're still my best friend."

"Just don't forget it. See ya." Hiro set off toward his apartment and Shuichi continued on his way home.

Yuki was sitting on the couch in the living room with one leg tucked up beneath him when Shuichi arrived. He looked tired. Shuichi crawled onto the couch beside him and put his head in Yuki's lap.

"Do you want me to make dinner, Yuki?"

"In a minute. We need to talk." He stroked his fingers through Shuichi's hair. "I can't let you drink from me anymore, Shu-chan."

Shuichi sat up. "Are you sick?" He stared at Yuki worriedly.

"Yes." Yuki put his hand over his face. "It doesn't matter how much I sleep, I never feel rested anymore. I can't keep feeding you."

"But if you drank, too…"

"No!" Yuki shouted. "It has to stop! We're just hurting each other." He looked into Shuichi's eyes. "I love you, Shu-chan, but if you can't stop, we can't see each other anymore."

Shuichi stared at him. "But you promised you would never leave me again!"

"Do you expect me to keep that promise until you kill me?" Yuki answered harshly.

"But we can make this work!"

"No we can't!" Yuki shoved him away and stood up. "I mean it, Shuichi. Unless you promise you'll stop, I'm leaving. I'm not going to kill myself for you."

"This is all Tohma's doing!" Shuichi cried. "You believe him more than you love me! He wants you for himself and he'll do anything to break us up!" Shuichi was screaming. Heartbreak was tearing him apart. "Why don't you just admit you want him and not me!"

"That isn't true…" Yuki began, but Shuichi wasn't listening. He jumped off the couch and stumbled blindly for the front door, sobbing hysterically.

"Shuichi, wait!" Yuki grabbed his arm, but Shuichi jerked himself free.

"I hate you!" he screamed. "You never loved me! I am nothing but a good fuck to you!" He yanked the front door open. "You can just fuck yourself from now on!" And he raced out into the fading light.

"Shuichi!"


	8. True Love

Chapter 8: True Love

Shuichi ran without paying any attention to where he was going. Half-blinded by tears, he finally staggered to a halt in the doorway of a ratty little noodle shop. The smell of the food almost made him gag. Nothing tasted right anymore, except Yuki. All he wanted was Yuki. He crouched down against the wall, buried his face in his hands and sobbed helplessly.

Nothing was going right! It didn't matter if their album was a huge success and sold more copies than Nittle Grasper. If he lost Yuki, what was the point? It was all Tohma's fault! If he hadn't interfered, Yuki would not have decided that what they were doing was wrong. They had been happy. Shuichi clenched his fists. He was sick and tired of Tohma always meddling in his life. Every time things started to go right, Tohma would step in and mess it all up.

And now Yuki wanted to break up.

Shuichi wrapped his arms around his middle. He was so hungry his stomach hurt and he felt nauseous. The smells wafting through the door of the noodle shop weren't helping. He needed Yuki. He needed blood.

"I'm not a vampire!" Shuichi whispered to himself.

_Liar!_ a voice answered from the back of his mind.

Shuichi wiped the tears from his eyes.

_You're drinking Yuki's blood!_ the voice whispered. It sounded like Tohma. _What else does that make you?_

Shuichi stared straight ahead, blinking away the last of his tears. For the first time in a long time, he forced himself to think about what had happened with Satoshi Seido. He replayed every incident in his mind, and thought about what happened afterward with Yuki. And then he jumped to his feet in shock. It really was Tohma's fault! Shuichi's blood drinking had not gone over the edge until after Tohma killed Satoshi and Yuki had saved Shuichi's life by feeding him blood.

"Tohma made me this way!" Shuichi exclaimed aloud. "If he'd left Satoshi alone, maybe I would have gotten over it, the way Yuki is."

Passersby stared at him and Shuichi fell silent. Had Tohma known this would happen? Yuki said Tohma knew a lot about vampires.

Fury replaced the burning hunger in Shuichi's belly. "Goddamn you, Tohma!" he screamed. "You did it on purpose!"

He dashed out of the doorway, not caring who he knocked into as he ran headlong down the street. It was late, but he ran to the N-G building anyway. He went straight up to Tohma's office, racing past startled executives and studio musicians. Tohma's secretary was already gone, which suited Shuichi just fine. He burst through the door into Tohma's office without slowing down.

But when he saw Tohma sitting behind his desk with his feet up, talking on the phone, Shuichi skidded to a stop.

Tohma regarded him with mild surprise. He spoke into the phone. "I'll have to call you back, Mika-chan. Someone just came into my office." He put the phone down. "What can I do for you, Shindou-san?"

"You can get the hell out of my life!" Shuichi replied in a deadly calm voice. "I'm sick of you always messing things up. You made Yuki break up with me and now I have nothing left except what you turned me into."

"What I turned you into?" Tohma lifted an eyebrow. "I think it was Satoshi Seido who did that."

"But you didn't have to kill him! It didn't get bad until you killed him!" Shuichi stamped forward and planted his hands on the desk, leaning across to stare threateningly at Tohma.

Tohma did not smell afraid. He gazed at Shuichi calmly. "Perhaps that's so, but it's not my problem. Protecting Eiri Yuki is my only concern."

"You bastard!" Shuichi screamed. "You could have helped me, but you didn't want to! You wanted me to die!" He jumped up onto the desk and grabbed Tohma by the lapels of his coat. "You can't have Yuki either, you son of a bitch!" He dragged Tohma forward, ready to rip his throat out and bathe in his blood.

"If you take me, there's no turning back," Tohma replied calmly.

"Stop it!" Shuichi shook him like a rag doll, knocking Tohma's hat to the floor. "It's already too late! Don't lie to save your miserable life!"

Tohma still did not smell afraid. His calmness was maddening. "There's hope until you die, Shindou-san, but if you drink my blood, it will kill you."

"So why stop me? That's what you want, isn't it?" Shuichi lifted Tohma halfway out of his chair. It felt like he weighed nothing at all.

Tohma met his gaze evenly. "Does it matter to you what I want? What do you want?"

"You know what I want!" He shook Tohma again. "Yuki! I only want Yuki! And you took him from me!"

"You drove him away."

"Aaagghhh!" Shuichi screamed in anguish and flung Tohma away.

Tohma tumbled over the edge of his desk and fell to the floor with a grunt. Shuichi expected him to run away, but Tohma just climbed to his feet and stood there.

"You cannot be both a vampire and Yuki's lover, Shindou. I will not allow it. Choose."

Shuichi stared at him. "What are you saying?" he whispered.

"Choose to be either a vampire or Yuki's lover. Choose to drink my blood or never drink blood again. I don't care which you choose, but I will not allow a vampire to steal Eiri's life."

Shuichi turned slowly toward him. "How can you stop me if you're dead?" He licked his lips. The scent of Tohma's blood filled his nostrils. He could see a trickle of blood running down Tohma's forehead from under his hair.

Tohma smiled slightly. "I killed Satoshi Seido and he was a full vampire, and old. What makes you think I'm in any danger from you?"

His calm confidence finally broke through Shuichi's rage and Shuichi stared at him in dismay. _I'm a fool!_ Shuichi realized. _He could have killed me the moment I came in._ Suddenly trembling, Shuichi slid off the desk and backed toward the door. Tohma watched him go without a word. Outside the office, Shuichi broke into a run and fled the N-G building in a panic.

_Choose!_ Shuichi thought as he ran. _How can I choose? I can't stop craving Yuki's blood, so how can I choose to be just his lover?_ Fresh tears spilled from his eyes.

"I'm a vampire!" he gasped aloud. "And I can never see Yuki again!"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The pounding on his door made Hiro sigh. Only Shuichi ever pounded on his door like that and then it was usually because he'd had a fight with Yuki. Hiro opened the door and was not the least bit surprised to find a devastated Shuichi slumped on his knees outside. Hiro leaned against the doorframe.

"Did you have another fight with Yuki-san?"

Shuichi nodded. He looked up at Hiro with tear-filled eyes. "I need you help, Hiro," he whispered.

"I'm not speaking to Yuki for you."

"It's not that." Shuichi climbed to his feet.

Hiro frowned. Shuichi looked emaciated. "Well, come in then," Hiro said. "You look like you need some dinner."

"I can't eat," Shuichi replied heavily.

"Don't give me any of that lovesick crap!" Hiro said sternly. "You look like a supermodel. You're eating."

Shuichi shook his head. "No, Hiro, I can't." He looked desperately unhappy. "I'm addicted," he said quietly.

"Addicted? To what?"

Shuichi hung his head. "Blood."

Hiro stared at him. "What!"

"I've been… drinking Yuki's blood."

"What the hell?" Hiro felt like someone had abruptly replaced his sane, simple world with some carnival mirror reflection. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember when I attacked Fujisaki, and you thought I was trying to bite him? I was." Shuichi moved past Hiro and slumped down on the edge of his bed. "It started when we were on tour. That man who was always asking me out, Satoshi Seido, he was a vampire." Shuichi stared at the floor.

Feeling stunned, Hiro closed the door and knelt down in front of Shuichi. "Please tell me you're making this up."

Shuichi began to weep. "I wish I was," he said, "but it's true. Yuki… was letting me… drink from him. Sometimes he would drink from me, too. But I need so much now I was starting to hurt him." Shuichi dropped his face into his hands. "He said I had to stop or I couldn't stay with him anymore. But I can't stop! When I smell him, I can't control myself!"

Hiro stared at him. "Shuichi, there's no such thing as vampires."

"Yes, there is. You're looking at one." Shuichi's large eyes looked bruised. "Satoshi Seido attacked me dozens of times while we were on tour, and then I started to bite Yuki." He flushed with shame. "But when Yuki found out what was happening to me, he forgave me. He let me drink his blood." Shuichi's voice dropped to a whisper. "And then he started doing it too."

Hiro could not imagine why Yuki had allowed such behavior. He always seemed so serious and self-centered. "He must really care about you."

"Not anymore." The pain in Shuichi's voice nearly brought tears to Hiro's eyes. "He said he wouldn't risk his life for me and that I had to stop biting him. But I can't! He makes me too hungry." Shuichi began to weep again. "He said he would leave to keep me from doing it anymore. So I left instead."

Hiro moved to the bed and put his arm around Shuichi's shoulders. "Well, Shuichi, he has a point, if you're drinking too much."

Shuichi sobbed hysterically. "I love him so much, Hiro, I'll do anything! Please help me! Help me break this habit!"

Hiro held Shuichi as he wept. Break the habit? If Shuichi was a vampire, how could blood-drinking just be a habit he could break?

"I'll help you if I can, Shuichi, but how can you stop? Don't you need it?"

"Tohma says I can stop." Shuichi wiped his face on his sleeve. "He said there's hope until I die."

"Tohma said that?" Hiro was surprised. Tohma didn't seem like the type who would want to help Shuichi. But if it was possible… "You know what? I think you need to get away. You need spiritual guidance."

Shuichi looked up at him uncertainly.

"That's right." Hiro nodded decisively. "You need to go to a temple where you can meditate and pray, and eat as much as possible. I'll take you to Ayaka's."

"Do you think she will want to help me?"

"Of course she will. And we won't tell anyone you're there."

"But what about the album?" Shuichi said doubtfully.

"The tracks are all recorded; they just need re-mixing. Fujisaki and I can do that." Hiro stood up. "It's settled. You're going to Ayaka's first thing in the morning. I'll call her after dinner." He grabbed Shuichi's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Right now, you're eating something."

"I really don't think I can," Shuichi said, but his faint smile was hopeful.

"Not even a plain rice ball?"

"I'll try."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Eiri was worried. This was not the first time Shuichi had run out, but never before had he sounded so crushed. And he had been starving. Eiri could still smell the sharp scent of his hunger. What might Shuichi do in such a state? What if he attacked someone? Eiri decided to go look for him.

He drove around the neighborhood at random, slowing down to look into shadowed doorways. There was no sign of Shuichi. When his cell phone rang, Eiri nearly drove up onto the curb. He pulled over to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Eiri, it's Tohma."

"What do you want? I'm busy right now."

"I thought you should know: Shindou came to see me."

"He did?" Eiri was dismayed. "You didn't hurt him, did you?"

"No." Tohma sounded tired. "Eiri, I think you should give up on him."

"Why? What did he say?"

"It's not what he said, it's the way he acted. I don't think he's coming back."

"You don't know that!" Eiri gripped the phone so hard his hand began to ache. "Shuichi will come back to me, he always does."

"I hope for his sake he does not."

"What do you mean?"

"I won't let him hurt you, Eiri. It's as simple as that."

"It's my life, Tohma, not yours!"

"And I won't let you throw it away. Remember that, if he comes to take you."

"Fuck you!" Eiri jabbed the disconnect button furiously. His hands were shaking. Tohma was out of line. Eiri could take care of himself and he could take care of Shuichi, too. It was no one's damn business by his.

Eiri returned home at dawn, after a fruitless search of the streets around the N-G building. That had seemed like the most logical place for Tohma to have encountered Shuichi, but there was no sign of him. Eiri also searched the park, knowing that Shuichi often went there when he needed to think. But in the end, he returned to the house alone, hoping that Shuichi would have come back to make up.

He wasn't there.

Eiri stood in the middle of the living room, clenching and unclenching his fists. He missed Shuichi and he was worried about him. At least while Eiri had been feeding him, Shuichi had shown no real interest in drinking from anyone else. But without Eiri's blood, what would he do? If Shuichi drank from someone else and Eiri lost him, would he have anyone to blame but himself?

And then Eiri smacked himself in the forehead angrily. "What am I thinking?" he cried aloud. "He'll go to Nakano!"

Eiri rushed back to his car and drove to Hiro's apartment building, getting lost twice on the way and cursing furiously. He took the stairs three at a time and pounded on the door thunderously. No one answered. He pounded again.

"Nakano-san! Are you home?"

The door to the apartment next door opened partway and an old woman peeked out timidly.

"May I help you, young man?"

"I'm looking for your neighbor, Mr. Nakano."

"Oh, he left for work some time ago."

"Do you know if he had a visitor last night?"

"He might have." The old woman opened the door a little wider. "But people are always coming and going on this floor. I can't always tell."

"Was there someone with him when he left this morning?"

"I don't think so, but Mr. Nakano always leaves so quietly. He's such a nice boy." She beamed at Eiri. "Sometimes he brings me my groceries."

Eiri forced an answering smile. "Thank you for your time."

"You're welcome."

Eiri returned to his car, but he didn't start it. He called Shuichi's cell phone for about the thousandth time, but it was still turned off. Then he called the front desk at the N-G building. Neither Hiro nor Shuichi had reported to work that morning. Eiri stared out the window at the passing traffic.

_He really did leave me,_ Eiri thought. He felt a surprising sense of loss. Shuichi's companionship had somehow become very important to him. He did not want to live alone anymore.

"Goddamn you, Tohma! Why did I listen to you?" he whispered. "You don't know everything. We could have worked it out. If Shuichi turns now because I listened to you, I'll never forgive you. Or myself."


	9. Choices

**Profiterole:** It's hard for me too, keeping them apart.

**Jenna**: I'm a sucker for a happy ending…

**Aacire**: Tohma's tough. He can take a little rough handling.

**Hoshi-Hiro**: You know Shuichi will do anything to be with Yuki…

**i love athrun**: HERE IT IS!

**Gravi Freak**: You know Shuichi would never voluntarily have sex with anyone but Yuki! But so many questions... I hope they all get answered in this chapter.

**Guren**: I'm glad you like it.

**Silverwings18**: I'm glad you like it, too.

**Tate Soyker**: Only though hardship can true joy be appreciated!

**Vampiress-06**: Sometimes I cry, too.

**Ryua Malfoy**: Have you still not seen it! But it's so cool! And it's short enough you can watch the whole thing in one evening.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 9: Choices

The bed felt terribly empty and Eiri couldn't sleep in it. He took to sleeping on the couch, when he slept at all, rather than face that definitive proof that Shuichi was no longer with him. Even as his health improved, his emotional state deteriorated. He truly missed Shuichi. He thought for a while about moving, because every room in the house reminded him of what was not there, but he couldn't do it. If Shuichi did come back, he would come here. So Eiri stayed, even though he felt haunted by Shuichi's ghost.

He finished his book, which made his editor happy, but Eiri didn't feel any sense of accomplishment. Usually, when he finished a book, he would take Shuichi out for dinner and they would celebrate afterward in bed. This time, he had a drink by himself and watched television until he passed out on the couch. He did not have plans for a new book, but he started writing out of habit a few days later, just letting words tumble out of his fingers and fill up the pages on his laptop. He didn't realize he was writing about Shuichi until tears started dripping onto his keyboard.

Without thinking, he reached for the telephone.

"_Hello? Nakano here_."

"Nakano-san, it's Eiri Yuki."

"_Hello Yuki-san. What's up?_"

"I was wondering if you've heard from Shuichi."

"_I told you before, Shuichi left town._"

It always sounded to Eiri like Hiro was hiding something, but no matter what Eiri asked him, he never said anything different.

"Yes, but he must call you."

"_Look, Yuki-san, you and Shuichi broke up. Why don't you just let it go?_"

Eiri wondered if it sounded like he was crying. "I just want to know that he's all right."

"_When is Shuichi all right when he's not with you? But he's got to learn to be on his own, doesn't he?_"

"Well, if you do hear from him, please tell him I called."

"_Yeah, sure._" Hiro hung up.

Eiri doubted very much that Hiro would tell Shuichi he'd called. He knew he had a reputation for being cold and unloving, especially among Shuichi's friends, so it was an uphill battle to convince them he had genuine feelings for his lover. He wondered if it would make any difference if he just said flat out that he wanted Shuichi back and that he never intended to break up with him.

But at least Hiro seemed to know where Shuichi was. His family certainly didn't. Eiri had called them to ask so many times, they had finally started screening his calls.

"Why don't you just hire a private detective?" Mika asked.

Eiri started. He hadn't heard Mika come in. She stood in the doorway of his study with her arms crossed, regarding him with a raised eyebrow.

"That's what other people do when they want to find someone," she continued. "Or is it that you want him to come crawling back to you all on his own?"

Eiri frowned. Why was it so hard for people to understand their relationship? "No, that's not it. I simply want to talk to him." He glanced at the story on his laptop and felt a sudden heartache. "I miss him and I want to make sure he's all right. Is that so surprising? We were lovers, after all."

"You slept with him," Mika retorted, "but you treated him like shit most of the time. The only time I ever saw you being nice to him was to spite me or Tohma."

"Get out, Mika!" Eiri snapped. "I don't need this from you right now."

"So why don't you hire someone? Then you can call Shuichi, ask him how he's doing, and give up this melodramatic, jilted lover act."

Eiri had to suppress the urge to jump up and slap her. He carefully closed his laptop and stood up slowly. "Was there something you needed to talk to me about?" He kept his voice calm and level.

"Yeah. I came over to ask why you're avoiding Tohma. He's a little hurt."

"Tohma can go to hell. He's the reason Shuichi left."

"Oh, come on! Tohma doesn't give a damn whether you're fucking Shuichi or not."

"If you want to know why, ask Tohma to tell you the whole truth, and then I'll tell you why Shuichi left. Otherwise, leave me the hell alone and tell Tohma to stay the fuck out of my life!" Despite himself, he was shouting by the time he finished.

Mika stared at him. "I can see you're not ready to talk about this. I'll come back later." She started to leave.

"Don't bother!" Eiri snarled at her back. "I'm getting the locks changed."

She stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. "And what if Shuichi comes back?"

"GET OUT!"

She left and Eiri could feel the headache starting in his right temple. Goddamn them all!

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Shuichi ate two rice balls a day at first: one in the morning and one in the evening. It took all his willpower to keep it down and he didn't always succeed. Ayaka never chastised him when he dashed to the bathroom to wretch his guts out after an unsuccessful attempt, even if he didn't make it all the way there in time. She would cheerfully help him clean it up, all the while chattering about how he would do better next time.

Shuichi decided Ayaka was one of the nicest people in the world. She didn't ask why, when he and Hiro turned up on her doorstep asking if Shuichi could stay for a few months, she just said "of course", and settled Shuichi into the guest room in back of her family's temple. Hiro said Shuichi didn't need to tell her anything, but talking was the easiest way for Shuichi to deal with his broken heart, so eventually he told Ayaka everything.

She accepted his confession even more calmly than Hiro had. And while Ayaka admitted she knew almost nothing about vampirism, she understood both addiction and the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. She treated Shuichi like he had a combination of these illnesses, using patience, humor and occasional strictness to keep him eating, and to help him combat the craving.

The craving was worse than not being able to eat. Shuichi spent most of the first month weeping, because he missed Yuki so badly and all he could think about was the way Yuki tasted. It made him hate himself, because he should have been missing the sex and he rarely ever thought about that. Half the time, when he couldn't keep his rice ball down, it was because he couldn't get the taste of Yuki out of his mouth and the rice tasted like dust.

But that was the first month. The second month was a little easier. Ayaka convinced him to eat a meat bun, instead of a rice ball, for his evening meal. He threw them up the first three nights, but the fourth night he kept it down. Ayaka told him, with cheery optimism, that he looked like he was gaining weight.

"You think so?" Shuichi asked doubtfully. He looked down at himself and pulled his shirt tight against his body. His ribs stuck out.

"Definitely!" Ayaka assured him. "Your ribs don't stick it out as far. Pretty soon, you'll weigh as much as I do."

Shuichi frowned. Ayaka was pretty small. It was not good if he still weighed less than she did. She patted his arm.

"Don't worry, Shuichi. You're getting better. It's just going to take more time. Be patient."

Shuichi looked down at himself again. "Do you think Yuki will want me back?"

Ayaka put her hand under his chin and lifted his eyes to hers. "Don't think about that. You need to focus on yourself right now." She patted his cheek. "If Yuki loves you, he'll wait for you."

"But what if he doesn't love me anymore? I left him. What if he hates me now?"

Ayaka waggled his chin gently. "I said not to think about that right now. Anyway, he'd be a fool not to love you. You're doing this for him, aren't you?"

Shuichi nodded. He couldn't see Yuki again unless he got over the desire to drink his blood. And to do that, he had to stay away from Yuki until he didn't need it or want it anymore. No matter how long it took. But that was what worried Shuichi. What if he took too long and Yuki got tired of waiting? He tried not to be discouraged, but it was hard, especially when he had trouble keeping his food down.

But Ayaka was always there with her gentle advice. "Don't give up, Shuichi. The only sure way to lose is to give up."

So Shuichi kept trying. In the third month, Ayaka introduced a third meal into his diet. Eating three meals a day made Shuichi feel bloated and uncomfortable at first, so mostly all he did was sit around and watch television. Daytime television had a lot of talk shows, which Shuichi found rather soothing. He didn't really listen to them, he usually lay on the floor with his eyes shut, letting the sound of the conversations flow over him.

Until one afternoon, when a familiar voice spilled out of the speakers.

Shuichi sat up with a cry and stared at the screen, tears springing into his eyes.

Ayaka raced into the room from the temple. "Shuichi! What is it? What's the matter?"

Shuichi was crouched in front of the television, clutching both sides, with his nose practically touching the screen. "It's Yuki!"

Ayaka caught his shoulder and pulled him back. "You can't really see it like that," she stated matter-of-factly.

"But it's Yuki!" Shuichi protested, struggling to crawl back to the screen.

Ayaka had no trouble holding him at a reasonable distance. "Why don't you sit here and listen to him?"

Shuichi wept as he listened. It was so wonderful to hear Yuki's voice, even if Yuki was just talking to some interviewer on a talk show. It had to be about his latest book.

"Now your new book is quite short, Yuki-sama," said the wholesomely attractive woman interviewer. "More of a short story, almost."

"Yes, that's true."

"It is very interesting subject matter, too. Somewhat different from your usual romance." She smiled brightly.

"Not really. All my stories tend to be romantic tragedies. This one is not really that different."

"Is there any truth to the rumors that the story is autobiographical? Were you writing about your relationship with your former lover, Shuichi Shindou?"

Shuichi's jaw dropped.

Yuki's bland expression didn't change. "I'd rather not talk about that."

The interviewer leaned forward with an eager smile. "But it's true that Shuichi Shindou hasn't been seen in public in several months. There are rumors that he is in rehab because of a drug addiction. Your story is about a man who loses a lover to drug addiction. It sounds very similar."

Yuki frowned very slightly. The expression made him look even more handsome. "The similarities are a coincidence. I would prefer not to discuss my past or present relationships."

"Of course." The interviewer sounded disappointed. She turned toward the camera and smiled brightly. "Right now it's time for our commercial break, and then we will bring out our next guest."

Shuichi turned to stare at Ayaka. "You read everything Yuki writes," he said. "Do you know what book they were talking about?"

Ayaka looked guilty. She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a slim volume. "I bought it last week. I wasn't sure if I should show it to you." She held out the book.

Shuichi took it from her. The title, _Into Darkness_, made him blink. "Did you read it?"

She nodded.

"Is it about me?"

Ayaka pursed her lips. "I don't know everything about your relationship with Eiri-san," she said, "but there are certain… similarities to the way you described the end of your relationship."

Shuichi turned the book over in his hands. Yuki's picture was on the back. "Do you think I should read it?"

"It's up to you. You can keep it." Ayaka rose. "I have to finish my duties in the temple."

Shuichi continued to stare at the book after she left. Finally, feeling uncertain, he opened the cover and started to read.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Eiri rubbed his eyes. He was tired. His new book wasn't going very well. The truth was, he wasn't all that interested in writing. Nothing really interested him all that much anymore. Over five months had passed since Shuichi left and Eiri missed him so much he couldn't think about anything else. He had seriously considered taking Mika's advice and hiring a private detective, but in the end, he'd done nothing. If Shuichi wanted to see him again, he'd call. Or come back. And if he didn't, well… Eiri didn't want to think about that. Maybe Shuichi couldn't come back.

But every time someone knocked on the door, his heart would race with anticipation, until he opened it and found it wasn't Shuichi. He was tempted to stop answering the door, except that he kept hoping. So he would answer it anyway and then swallow the bitter disappointment.

He shuffled into the kitchen to make tea. He didn't want tea, but it was something to do other than not work on his book. Someone knocked on the door just as the tea kettle started to boil and Eiri swore under his breath. He took the kettle off and hurried to answer it.

And found Shuichi standing on his doorstep, his large eyes full of uncertainty.

Eiri didn't say a word. He swept Shuichi into his arms and hugged him until Shuichi began to squirm.

"Yuki, I can't breathe!"

Eiri dragged him inside and kicked the door shut before he relaxed his hold. He looked down at Shuichi's face. His cheeks no longer looked hollow and sunken. In fact, he felt plumper in Eiri's arms.

"Shuichi," he whispered. "You came back."

"I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"Did you write about me?"

Eiri stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you on television, and then I read your book." His look of uncertainty returned. "It sort of sounded like you were writing about me. So I wondered if you had."

"Is that all you want to know?"

Shuichi shrugged slightly. "Well, it almost sounded like… like you missed me and that… maybe… you wanted me back," he finished in a very small voice.

"Did it?" Eiri murmured.

"Well, I…" Shuichi looked up at Eiri. "I was hoping you missed me." He sounded like he doubted it.

Eiri looked into his eyes. "Shuichi, I missed you every minute of every day that you were gone. I don't ever want you to leave me again. I love you, Shu-chan. I truly, dearly, love you and I want us to be together always."

Shuichi's eyes went wide. "Really?" he whispered.

"Really," Eiri answered. He kissed Shuichi deeply and for a long time. It felt so good to hold him, he never wanted to stop. He did stop when Shuichi's kiss started to taste salty. Shuichi was crying. "What's the matter, Shu-chan?"

"I'm just so happy! I love you so much, Yuki!"

Eiri studied Shuichi's face. "Shuichi, are you all right now?"

"Of course I'm all right, I'm with you."

"No, I meant… the blood-drinking. I've been afraid…"

Shuichi beamed at him. "I kicked the habit! I went cold-turkey and I cured myself." Shuichi snuggled against him. "You said we couldn't be together unless I stopped. I would do anything to be with you, Yuki, you know that. You're all I want."

Eiri buried his face in Shuichi's hair. "I haven't been able to sleep in the bed since you left," he said. "It felt so empty without you."

"Let's go to bed," Shuichi responded immediately. "It's been so long! I need you!"

"You don't just mean sex to me, Shuichi," Eiri whispered in his ear. "You know that, don't you?"

"I know." Then Shuichi giggled. "But it's all right if I mean sex to you right now. I really, really need to get laid."

Eiri took him to the bedroom.

"You really haven't been in here. It's dusty!"

"I missed you."

"To do the cleaning?"

"Shuichi!"

Shuichi put his arms around Eiri's neck. "I don't mind cooking and cleaning for you. I'm happy just being your lover." He kissed Eiri gently. "I'm sorry for everything that happened. I didn't mean to be gone so long, but it was really hard getting over it. The thing is…" he looked worried, "I won't really know for sure until you make love to me. I'm still a little afraid the craving might come back."

"If it does, I'll help you get through it." Eiri pulled Shuichi close. "We'll do it together." He kissed Shuichi hungrily. It felt so good to hold him. "I'm never letting you go again, Shuichi. Not ever."

Eiri pulled him down onto the bed, kissing passionately. He stripped Shuichi eagerly as he kissed him, caressing his soft skin, delighting in the rounded flesh beneath. "You've gained so much weight," he whispered. "It's wonderful."

"Ayaka kept stuffing food into me," Shuichi mumbled against his shoulder.

"Ayaka! That's where you went?"

"Um hmm. She helped me a lot." Shuichi licked Eiri's neck. "You still taste good."

"Shuichi…"

"It's ok. What I really want is to get your clothes off and lick you somewhere else." He pushed Eiri onto his back and unzipped his trousers. "You're overdressed for what I want to do with you." He pulled Eiri's pants down.

Eiri groaned as Shuichi began to lick him intimately. "I can think of something much better to do with that," Eiri moaned.

"I got here first," Shuichi mumbled. His licking turned to sucking.

Eiri gasped. "My turn!" He grabbed Shuichi and rolled over on top of him, pushing Shuichi's legs apart with his knees. Eiri was aching with need. He couldn't get himself into Shuichi fast enough or deep enough. Shuichi clutched his shoulders and cried out as Eiri took him.

"Oh god!" Shuichi gasped. "When did you get so big!"

"All the fucking abstinence!" Eiri groaned. "Five months is a long time!"

"You're telling me?" Shuichi arched his back so Eiri could get into him more easily. "Just don't come too soon! I need a lot of this!"

"You'll be getting a lot of this, whether I come soon or not!" Eiri pounded himself into Shuichi urgently, until they were both crying aloud with pleasure.

Shuichi came first, but only by a heartbeat. His deep gasp of pleasure was echoed almost immediately by Eiri's cry of joy. They held each other, shuddering through their orgasm.

"Oh, that was good," Shuichi sighed.

Eiri lifted onto his elbows. "How do you feel?"

"Satisfied. For the moment." Shuichi grinned. "And I don't want to bite you!"

Eiri kissed him. "I was wrong to drive you away. I should have figured out how to help you."

Shuichi stroked his fingers through Eiri's hair. "I was really hurt, but I think maybe it was the only way. I needed a reason to stop, and you gave it to me. I love you, Eiri."

"I love you, too, Shuichi."

Shuichi wrapped his arms around Eiri's neck and pulled Eiri tight against him. "Now, I think you promised me a whole lot more." He nibbled Eiri's earlobe.

"Umm," Eiri moaned. "I hope you don't have plans. You're going to be in this bed for a long time."

-o- The End -o-


End file.
